I'll Look After You
by SKBeliever
Summary: A Meredith Grey story. To learn to live, you have to let go... To learn to let go, you have to have someone new to hold onto… MerDer, MerOther & MerAlex friendship.!.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: A Meredith Grey story. To learn to live, you have to let go... To learn to let go, you have to have someone new to hold onto… R&R please. MerDer, Mer/Other.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and most certainly no one. I'm a borrower, Shonda Rhimes is the librarian.**

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_The sun was nowhere to be seen, covered by the clouds that weren't about to leave. It's been raining since dawn and there's no indication of it stopping anytime soon. _

_In the busy side of town, people wore yellow raincoats and hooded jackets to cover up their bodies from the harsh pouring of the rain. They walked quietly, greatly concentrating on the steps they take, careful not to step on a puddle, careful not to slip and fall down. _

_In the other side of town, people sat at home and enjoyed the day. Sipping their hot coffees and teas, enjoying their little Danish biscuits as they lightly chatted the day away._

_In the farthest side of town, where no one could hear anything but the gentle pitter patter of the rain, a woman's heart was crying …_

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Chapter 1  
_**If I don't say this now I will surely break  
**_-

Meredith Grey-Shepherd watched the tiny droplets of water that made its way to the small window of the tiny trailer. It was almost noon and she hasn't moved from the spot she woke up in. She needed this. She needed the time to think. She needed the time to muster up all her courage at what she was about to do. She looked at the clock beside the bed. _11:45, _the red numbers displayed. She sighed deeply, carelessly grabbing the comforter on top of her and threw it to the side. She got out of the bed and walked to the small cabinet that contained her clothes. She didn't have a lot of those, there was no room for clothes in their small trailer. She went down on all fours and reached under the bed for her suitcase, the one she so often used when she went on short trips, and placed it on top of the bed. She looked at it unsatisfactorily. It wouldn't do. This was not going to be a short trip. She opened the cabinet and decided she's only going to take her best ones. No, she shook her head. She was going to take everything. She didn't want anything of hers to stay. She wanted all of her to disappear from his life.

It took her half an hour to fit everything in the suitcase. She rolled it out of the trailer, not bothering to put on a coat, and placed it inside her car. She went back inside and sat down on the small dining table. Her eyes trailed towards the sole picture frame that hung on the wall. Their wedding picture.

Addison's appearance three years ago was just a small memory in Meredith's mind. Derek signed the divorce papers immediately that night. He didn't even ask for a moment to doubt. He said he knew that his hearts was hers. They got married a year later. It was a simple ceremony held by the trailer. Meredith looked out the window and she saw the exact spot where she and Derek shared their first kiss as husband and wife. That was one of the happiest days of her life, his too, as he said that night of their wedding.

They were happy. That was until Addison appeared in Seattle 8 months ago. It was at that time that Meredith realized that 11 years of marriage didn't go down the drain as easily as he said, that his 11 years of marriage to Addison would always be stronger than their 1 year of marriage. It was at that time that Meredith realized that Derek Shepherd's heart was never hers and it'll never be hers.

It was sad for her to admit that she never got him to love her completely. Much worse was for her to admit that her marriage was just a façade.

He spent more and more time in the hospital, drowning his self in his work. He found even more reason to work when he was promoted to Chief of Surgery. They didn't even celebrate it over dinner, they didn't even celebrate it at all. But she heard that he celebrated with some colleagues in the hospital, Addison Montgomery to be exact. She didn't want to cry, she didn't want to cry when there was no reason to cry. She didn't want to waste her tears when there was no viable reason for her to do so. So she didn't.

She held back her tears every time she heard something from the nurses. New gossip, as they say. Her friends, ever the protective ones, turned a deaf ear to the rumors milling around. Every time she asks them if they've heard anything, they'd shake their heads and tell her that there's nothing going one. But her heart screamed out that there was something going on.

They haven't had sex for more than a month now. He was either too tired or he wasn't even home that long that they had time to have sex. He hasn't said 'I love you' for five months. She told him she loved him just the other night, her last attempt to find a reason to stay. His reply was a small snore. She knew it was better that way. It was easy to say I love you to someone you didn't love but it was hard to say I don't love you to someone you do love. And she can't get herself to say she doesn't, because she does. She really does. But love wasn't enough anymore. When was love ever enough?

She drove to the hospital through the rain, her suitcase making a rapping sound every time she hit a bump or stepped on the brakes. She parked her car and made a run for the hospital doors, shaking the rain drops off of her jacket as she headed inside.

Christina Yang, her best friend, eyed her as she sat down on the bench between the lockers. Christina soundlessly sat down beside her and whispered. "Did you bring it?"

Meredith nodded slowly, reached inside her bag and took out the brown envelope. She handed it to Christina and Christina peaked inside it without taking out the contents and nodded. "I'll take care of it, Mer. You've got nothing to worry about." Christina gave her a reassuring smile as she patted her on the shoulder. "You can do this, Mer."

"What if I can't?" her voice cracked. She looked at her friend sadly and waited for her to say something, to reassure her once again that what she's doing is the right thing. Christina squeezed her shoulder.

"You'll do this, Mer, you'll do this for your own sake," Christina dictated as she looked at her with great vigor. "You're not doing this for him, Meredith. You're not doing this because of him. You're doing this because you love yourself. Something that everyone in this world should do, love them selves better than they love others. Because if you don't love yourself enough to do this, Mer. Then you're going to kill yourself from this pain, Mer. You're going to kill yourself."

"I'm not suicidal," Meredith managed to crack a smile. But she knew there was already a point a week ago that she wanted to do the unthinkable. The 10-blade was just right in front of her that day and it was so easy to just reach out and end her misery. But she didn't. She shook the memory from her mind and focused on her friend once again. "What's your plan?"

Christina gave her a mysterious smile as she stood up and waved the brown envelope up in the air. "Let me handle this, Mer. By the end of the day, you'll be a free woman." Christina walked out of the locker room, her hips playfully swinging making Meredith smile. Meredith had no idea how Christina was going to successfully make Derek sign those divorce papers but she was Christina, and she always got what she intended to get.

* * *

Christina's plan involved three things. Discharge forms on top, divorce paper under, and Addison Montgomery on the side. Every time Derek was busy chatting with Addison, Christina went in for the kill. She just pointed and pointed and Derek Shepherd signed. After successfully having the third divorce paper copy signed by him, Christina fought the urge to hit him on the head with the chart. She never knew a man could be that shallow and thick-headed. He didn't even notice that the discharge papers he was signing were blank. He didn't even notice that only a 'sign here' sticker was covering Meredith's name placed directly below his. She wanted to hit him hard but he was the Chief of Surgery and they were at the hospital so she fought the urge. But she did the next best thing. "Dr. Shepherd?" 

"Hm?" Derek glanced at her for a second before turning his attention towards Addison once again.

"Thank you," Christina said. "The patient you just discharged thanks you and her friends thank you for finally ending her miserable stay here at the hospital" Of course, Christina was pertaining to Meredith with this and of course Derek didn't care less. He just gave her a small nod and Christina walked away, happily whistling, to find her friend and tell her the good news. She looked back at Derek Shepherd and Addison Montgomery still engaged in their private conversation talking about god knows what. Her friend really was better off.

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**So basically... This is going to be a divorce fic. MerDer divorce. I made it play out that Derek didn't do the 'doubt' thing he wanted to do before signing the divorce papers, he just went at it and signed it. So you have to know that his decision wasn't really thought through and through, so when Addison comes back, those old feelings just came tumbling out. At least I think they did. But I guess we'll just have to see and find out... So, poor Meredith, her marriage with Derek is now suffering... And is ending... And as for the 'Christina Operation: Get the Papers Signed?' Isn't she just the sneakiest person in the world? ha-ha. And what an _oblivious_ Derek! Well, he's just like that when McSatan's around. She's the ultimate distraction.**

**For the pairing on this one... I already have until around Chapter 8 planned out And it's still not MerDer. But they're there, still desperately trying to exist around each other. And the MerOther pairing is still winning on Chapter 8... I have no idea if I'll do a switcheroo... But it's really all a blur right now... **

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**And the no -Untitled- dilemna I'm having? Maybe I'll find an answer to that in time...  
Maybe.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary: A Meredith Grey story. To learn to live, you have to let go... To learn to let go, you have to have someone new to hold onto… R&R please. MerDer, Mer/Other.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and most certainly no one. I'm a borrower, Shonda Rhimes is the librarian.

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**

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Chapter 2  
_**There goes the downpour  
**_-

She wanted to be a lot of things when she was a child. She wanted to fly like Superman, she wanted to round the earth like Yuri Gagarin, she wanted to climb a mountain and be afraid of coming down, heck, she even wanted to be Minnie Mouse to live inside Disney Land. But what she never wanted was to be a part of a broken marriage like her parents. Unfortunately, she was now.

"That guy?" Christina, broke into her thoughts, as she pointed to a man in a black suit, clearly out of place inside the old, ratty bar. "Is totally checking you out, Mer." Meredith's gaze followed Christina's finger.

"He is not!" she shook her head, laughing a little.

Christina laughed back at her. "He so is, Mer. I think it's the ring, or should I say, lack of that makes you suddenly a guy magnet once again. Aren't you glad you finally signed those damn papers, Mer?"

"I was never a guy magnet, Christina!" Meredith spoke out of shock at her friend. At this, Christina scoffed and shook her head. She grabbed the beer she ordered and went to the table they had at the back part of Joe's. Meredith ordered one more shot of tequila, her fourth one, and drank it in one swig. She turned it upside down and placed it alongside the other shot glasses.

"Can I buy you another one?" the man in the black suit was suddenly beside her and sitting on the stool that was occupied by Christina earlier. He had dirty blond hair, crystal blue eyes, and a strong jaw that twitched slightly as he held a smile in place for her. Meredith smiled politely at him and his smile slowly faltered. "That's a no, then?" Meredith held her polite smile in place. He sighed and let out a nervous laugh. "You probably think I'm a freak now."

"Not really," Meredith shook her head a little. Her eyes trailed down to his black suit and back up to his face. "It's just that you're wearing a suit. In a bar."

He laughed out loud this time and it was a smooth, as if, carefully practiced laugh. It was the first time Meredith ever heard a laugh like that. Or maybe it was because it's been so long since she recognized laughter. He ran a nervous hand through his hair, messing up his perfectly gelled hairdo. "I was on my way to a meeting and my car broke down. It was either the hospital or this bar so I chose the bar, at least I could drink away some of the regret that I missed the meeting." He shrugged, his eyes trailed down to her shot glasses and then at her once again. "So… Can I buy you another one?"

"I think I'm done for the night," she said politely as she stood up. "I have an early start tomorrow. I don't think the patients would appreciate it if I come in with a hang over."

"You're a doctor," he stated. He stood up and reached inside his suit. He was a tall man, standing around 6'1", the suit hanging on him perfectly, like he was about to model for a GQ ad. Meredith knew it was probably custom built, tailor and all. He gracefully whipped out a small business card and handed it to her. "Just in case you'd want me to buy you another drink." He gave her a small wink and a smile. "I'll gladly miss one of my meetings again for you."

"I'll think about it," she smiled politely as she pocketed the small business card and walked away. She could feel his eyes on her and she felt good, something that she hasn't felt in a long while. She walked over to the table where Christina, Alex, Izzie, and George were hanging at. "So? Who's willing to spare a bed for me tonight?" All of them looked at her and then at each other, an awkward silence passed through before Meredith sighed dramatically. "Fine, hotel room for me tonight, then." She took a seat on one of the empty chairs and looked at her friends expectantly. "What?"

"You just flirted with that dude, dude," Alex told her with a cocky grin. "Meredith Grey is back in business."

Meredith glared at him and threw some peanuts at him. "Shut up! I did not!"

"You did, Mer, you were practically throwing yourself at him," Izzie nodded with a wide smile. "But who wouldn't? He's McGorgeous. Did you see his butt? That was a perfectly good butt to have." Izzie laughed at Meredith's reaction at what she just said.

"I would kill for a butt like that," Alex joked making everyone join in Izzie's laughter. It was Christina who stopped laughing first and her eyes went from twinkling to dark as she saw who just walked into the bar. Alex looked at who she was looking at and Alex's eyebrows narrowed and he looked like he was about to hit someone. He muttered angrily at no one in particular. "What the fuck is he doing here and with her nonetheless?"

Meredith turned around and the laughter from her lips died down to a small sigh. He was here with Addison. They were smiling. It was perfect. The worse part was he saw her too. And his smile disappeared. He walked over to their table and placed a hand on Meredith's shoulder as he bent down to talk to her. "I thought you went home." For some reason, Meredith suddenly lost the ability to speak. Her eyes stared straight ahead, and she tried to open her mouth but for some unknown reason, she couldn't.

"Beeper! Beeper!" Christina suddenly said out loud and quickly placed on her coat. "Guys, 911. C'mon, c'mon!" George, Izzie, and Alex also placed on their coats and stood up. Christina pulled Meredith away from Derek and dragged her towards the door.

"I'll see you at home!" Derek's voice called out as Meredith was dragged out of the bar and into the parking lot. Christina stopped and suddenly she burst out laughing.

"I can't believe he fell for that!" she laughed. Meredith looked at her strangely and then at Alex, Izzie, and George who were also smiling. Christina stopped laughing and looked at her. "What? You thought it was real? Did you even hear a beep? You froze, Mer. You needed saving."

"I didn't need saving, Christina! If you want me to be strong then let me fight my own war, okay!?" Meredith didn't know why she shouted or why she even said what she said. All she knew was she could still feel Derek's hand on her shoulder and she could still feel his faint whisper in her ears and she didn't want to feel it. She wanted it all to go away. She wanted to erase the image of him and Addison walking inside the bar, side by side, lightly chatting. She wanted to erase the image of how his smile disappeared when he realized that she was also inside the bar. She wanted to…

"Cry," Christina's voice was determined as she whispered out the word. "Cry, Meredith, Cry!" This time she didn't whisper, she grabbed Meredith by the shoulder and shook her like a small child to get some sense into her. "Cry!" She spoke so loudly that Meredith flinched as the sound reached her ears and when she opened her eyes… She was crying. "Damnit, Mer! 8 months. 8 months! You held it all inside! Just let it out! Let it out!" And she did let it out. She was bawling her eyes out by the time Christina finished her ramblings.

She didn't know how to stop. She didn't want to. She wanted to let it all out.

"She's gonna fucking run out of oxygen and faint if you don't stop her," Alex muttered to them as they all watched Meredith cry, being held up by Christina. He sighed in disgust as he pushed Christina out of the way and carried Meredith in his arms. He looked at her for a moment and leaned closer to her ears and whispered gently. "Grey, stop crying. It's alright. You're alright." But she didn't stop crying, the tears just kept on falling. Alex looked at George, Izzie, and Christina. "We need to get her home."

They all kept quiet. Meredith's home was the trailer. She rented out her Mother's house when George and Izzie announced they were moving out. Derek wanted to live in his trailer and Meredith gave into his request. And now, without the trailer to call home, Meredith was homeless. "Hotel," George said. "We'll take her to a hotel."

"You want to leave her alone in a hotel!?" Alex shouted at George. He looked at Christina and Izzie who weren't about to say anything helpful. Alex looked down at Meredith and whispered to her. "I'll take you home, Grey. You can get the bed, I'll get the couch."

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**This chapter's mostly about the other interns helping Meredith cope with the situation she is in... Derek's still oblivious. Someone should smack him and make him realize what the crap he's doing. "OI!" haha. And don't you guys think Alex was like a superhero-- flying down to swoop Meredith in his arms? They're cute together, don't you think? But as much as I want to make Alex the 'other' in this one... Nah... Maybe someother time. **

**And please... REVIEW:D They make me update faster**

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**And still no title... Bummer. I was thinking of A' Public Affair'... What do you guys think? Will it suit my fic?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary: A Meredith Grey story. To learn to live, you have to let go... To learn to let go, you have to have someone new to hold onto… R&R please. MerDer, Mer/Other.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and most certainly no one. I'm a borrower, Shonda Rhimes is the librarian.**

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Chapter 3  
_**For now you're not here and I'm not there, it's like we're on our own**_  
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Christina Yang went over the patient's pre-op notes as she waited for the remaining 30 minutes before they perform the surgery. She leaned on the nurses counter, her eyes running over and over again through the notes. For a second, her mind drifted off to what happened last night at Joe's parking lot. Alex volunteered to take Meredith home for the night. They all argued what to do with her car, Izzie suggests that Alex just leave his and take Meredith's but George and Christina didn't see it fit or that important anymore. Once again, Alex shouted at them that the important thing was to get Meredith away from Joe's because they were already making a scene and they wouldn't want Derek to walk out and see what the entire ruckus was about. Surprisingly, for that umpteenth time that night, Alex was right. So they all walked across the street to SGH's parking lot and went to their respective cars, Meredith with Alex. After Izzie finished rambling to Alex about what to do to help Meredith, Alex drove off soundlessly into the night.

"Doctor Yang, have you seen Meredith?"

Christina tore her eyes away from the patient's chart and looked to her side. Derek Shepherd was standing beside her, waiting for her reply expectantly. _'Wow, he noticed she was missing?'_ Christina thought as she looked at him placing the most clueless face she could manage and shook her head. "No, sir. You lost her?" she couldn't help but smile at her own joke. Derek looked at her strangely and shook his head slowly.

"She wasn't at the trailer last night and I saw her car parked outside."

"How very observant of you, sir," Christina nodded. "But sorry, I don't know where she is." A nurse approached them and asked Derek to sign something. Christina watched as he looked over the paper before signing which was a far cry from what he did yesterday when he was talking with Addison and Christina asked her to sign the papers. "What kind of a husband are you to lose your wife." Christina muttered loudly.

"I'm sorry? What did you say?" Derek heard it and he looked at Christina with anger.

Christina repeated what she said. "I said, what kind of a husband are you to lose your wife."

"Doctor Yang, you do realize that I am the Chief of Surgery at this hospital and you are just a resident!" Derek was fuming. "You do not get to talk to me like that!"

"Yes, Dr. Shepherd, you are the Chief of Surgery and I am but a resident, but we are not talking about anything medical here. We are talking about your wife, my best friend. So yes, I am going to say it again, what kind of a husband are you to lose your own wife, _sir_," Christina walked away and as if she wasn't already enjoying her chance to rat out at the Chief of Surgery, she just happened to bump into Addison Montgomery, herself. A mightily strong bump, if she might add. Yes. It certainly was a good day for Christina. A very good day.

-

Derek Shepherd watched Christina Yang walk away after shouting at him in public. His blood was boiling at what she just said. Not just the way she said it but what she said about him losing her wife. He was angry because what she said was true, he had no idea where his wife was.

"What was that all about?"

"I have no idea," Derek shook it out of his system and smiled at Addison. "Lunch?"

"Certainly," Addison nodded and placed her hand on the crook of Derek's which he so blatantly offered.

-

"Alex! Are you on drugs!? Why'd you bring her in!?" Christina looked left and right to check if anyone saw them as she pulled Meredith inside one of the empty patient rooms. She looked at Meredith and took in her appearance. Her eyes were swollen from the crying and it looked like someone ran over her newly bought puppy. She shook her head in disgust at her friend and she turned to Alex. "What!"

"She kept on asking me for sleeping pills, I didn't want to leave her there alone! And she looked like she was about to cry again, so I dragged her out of there," Alex shrugged.

"She can't work like this!" Christina pointed at Meredith as if proving a point at Alex. Alex scratched his head and shrugged. "What were you planning on doing with her once you got her here!?"

"I'm okay," Meredith's feeble voice broke their argument. Christina and Alex both looked at her and raised their eyebrows at her.

Christina looked at her friend as if she's grown two heads. "Okay? Meredith, you are not okay. You are not fine! You're delusional if you say you're fine." Christina snickered at her.

"The daycare," Alex said out loud. "My plan was to drop her down in daycare. I know the caretaker." Christina gave him a look that screamed 'are you crazy!?' "What! It's the only place I thought of! Unless you want me to leave her at Joe's! I'm sure Joe wouldn't appreciate his tequila stock running out so early in the morning."

"Fine," Christina accepted Alex's plan. "Just take her there discreetly. Wouldn't want the _chief _to see her." Alex nodded and he took a hold of Meredith's hand and pulled her towards the door. "Meredith, wait!" Christina called out, suddenly remembering something. Alex stopped in his tracks and Meredith bumped into him. She gave him an annoyed glanced and she looked at Christina. "Keys. Give me the keys to his trailer." Meredith just looked at her dumbfounded. "I'm going down there during lunch, I'm leaving a copy of the divorce papers for him. So the damn bastard would finally realize the truth."

"Christina, no," Meredith spoke as she shook her head. "I don't want him to find out that way."

"Meredith, if you don't let me do this, he'll never figure it out! He's blind as bat, Meredith! He's so oblivious. Hell, I could get him to sign a marriage contract right now and we'd be married and divorced the next without him even noticing he signed a damn marriage contract and divorce papers! Now give me the keys." It was not a request, it was an order. Christina watched as Meredith dug into her back pocket and handed her the key. She watched as Alex dragged Meredith out of the room, Meredith's eyes lingering at Christina's closed fists, holding the key to Derek's trailer.

-

Meredith let herself be dragged around all day. She didn't care. She just wanted to go places. And for some reason, her feet won't work unless she was being pulled by someone else. She felt so light that she was afraid she was going to float away if she didn't hold onto someone or something. She was standing behind Alex and they were waiting for the elevator to reach the floor they were in. She heard the doors open and then she was suddenly pushed to the side by Alex. She was about to protest when she heard Derek's voice. "Aren't you going to step in, Dr. Karev?"

"Going down?" Alex asked hesitantly.

"Yes," Derek's voice sounded a bit strangled, probably from irritation.

"No, sir, I'm going up," Alex lied as he shook his head. After a few seconds, the door closed and Alex turned to her. He gave her a small smirk and a wink. "Don't worry, Grey, I've got your back. You've got nothing to worry about. Now I think we'd better take the stairs." He grabbed her hand and once again, she was dragged to wherever the hell they were going. And she was thankful, at least she was going somewhere. Alex maneuvered her through the people that were busily doing their work. Every once in a while, he looked back at her to check on her. "You alright there?"

Meredith nodded weakly though she knew she was not. "I'm fine."

She really was delusional.

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**So Meredith's depressed... Derek's about to find out... And at least he's looking for her... But did you see the sudden loss of 'care' when Addison walked in? I really hate Addison now. And Alex and Meredith? Lovin' them!!! I kept on picturing Alex flirting with the daycare center 'caretaker' to take Meredith in... But I didn't have to write that one in, that'll be so out of the mood of my story... And Christina's really looking out for Meredith, cos' she's so helpless right now... Hope you guys liked this chapter. I updated really fast, see? Right?**

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**Here are some of my reactions to some of your reviews that really struck me or made me laugh (cos' I've got nothing else better to do... homework sucks, this is SO much better): **

Rumidha - _'The handsome stranger from the bar wasn't really doing it for me, but Alex? OMG, Alex! Alex was adorable and fabulous, and if you can't make him the 'other' in this fic, please, please, PLEASE write Mer and Alex together in a different one? I think you'll treat them nicely.' -- _**I so agree with you. OMG, Alex! He IS adorable and fabulous. And with this chapter, I really love Alex. And to be honest, I'm was thinking of a way to make this a tad bit Mer/Alex. But unfortunately, I've grown attached to the 'other' I've been writing for Meredith on this one (I'm hoping some of you guys would to once I introduce him)... But if I do get an idea of a nice Mer/Alex plot... I'll certainly write it! Thanks for the review!**

Lipglossletdown - _'i'm pro!mer/der.. well actually i just love meredith.. so this makes me want to slap derek and addison at the same time!!' _**-- I agree with you on the actually just loving Meredith. ha-ha. I really like her character. I'm anti-Mer/Der actually... I'm pro-Mer/Mark to the max. But for this fic, I want Derek to suffer... And I want people to slap Addison (hahaha). And mostly... I'm just writing this one for the angst and the drama I could express.  
**

Absent Heart **-- Thanks for the title suggestion. I am yet to download the song and hear it. :D Once I get to hear it, you might just be surprised that I've used the song title. Thanks for reading!**

**And for everyone else. Thanks! Continue on keepin' those reviews comin'! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary: A Meredith Grey story. To learn to live, you have to let go... To learn to let go, you have to have someone new to hold onto… R&R please. MerDer, Mer/Other.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and most certainly no one. I'm a borrower, Shonda Rhimes is the librarian.**

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Chapter 4  
_**This is going to break me clean in two**_  
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"Could you page Dr. Meredith Shepherd, please," Derek lightly tapped his fingers on the counter as he waited for the nurse to do what he asked her to do. Instead of going to the microphone, the nurse shook her head and looked at him.

"Dr. Shepherd didn't come in today, sir."

"What?" Derek asked, not believing what he just heard. "Her car's in the parking lot." The nurse shrugged and shook her head indicating that she had no idea about the situation and went back to her work. Derek turned around and tried to think of a plausible explanation as to why Meredith's car was in the parking lot and she was not. He whipped out his cell phone and dialed her number. It rang four times before her voicemail picked up. "Mer, it's me. Where are you? Call me when you get this message, okay? I'll see you at home." He closed his cell phone and placed it back inside his pocket. He turned around and he saw George and Izzie walking out of the elevator. He made a quick run towards them and called there attention. "Dr. Stevens, Dr. O'Malley!" They both turned around and shared a look. "Have you seen Meredith?"

They both shook there head simultaneously and Izzie was the one who spoke first. "No, sir, we haven't seen her today."

"But her car's outside. Did she get a ride with someone today?"

"No, sir, Dr. Grey didn't get a ride with any of us. Maybe she's back home, sir," George shook his head and with a polite smile, dragged Izzie away from him. Derek watched as the two walked out of the hospital and into the parking lot. His eyes wandered towards the elevator once again and this time, saw Alex Karev walk out.

"Dr. Karev!" he called out. Alex stopped in his tracks and turned around to face him. "Have you seen Meredith?"

It took a few seconds before Alex replied with a shrug. "Don't know. Don't care." He stared at him for a few seconds before raising his eyebrows. Derek realized that he was waiting for him to say something else.

"Thank you, Dr. Karev," Derek dismissed and watched as Alex walked out of the hospital building.

He knew something was off but as all bad feelings he's ever had, he just waited for it to pass before heading out of the hospital himself and walked into the parking lot to head back to his trailer.

-

Alex sat down on one of the curbs by the parking lot and waited for Derek Shepherd to go inside his car and drive away. He was supposed to go to the daycare center and pick up Meredith but he didn't want to risk it with Shepherd close by. He headed back inside the hospital and picked up Meredith. He raised his eyebrow at her when she glared at him as he walked inside the daycare. "What?"

"You just had to leave me here, didn't you?" She continued on glaring at him. "The little kids were calling me crybaby!"

Alex laughed a little and gave her a small smirk. "That's cos' you were probably bawling your eyes out again." He laughed out loud when she glared at him more and pulled her by the hand. "C'mon, let's head home. And we're taking your car, Christina's orders."

"What? Why?" she asked.

Alex shrugged and shook his head a little. "I don't know, ask her. So what do you want for dinner? Pizza?"

-

-

"You think he saw it last night?" Meredith asked Christina as she took a seat beside her. Christina gave her a look that screamed 'I don't care.'. Meredith sighed softly and began to change into her scrubs.

"You want me to send Burke to go and talk to him?" Christina asked after a few seconds. Meredith stopped in the middle of her task and nodded. Christina nodded too. "Fine. I'll tell him to go talk with him later. Fish for some information or something… But I bet he hasn't seen it yet, shouldn't he be calling you by now?" Christina raised her eyebrow. "Or does he really not care anymore?"

"I turned off my phone since last night… _And_ he doesn't know that I'm staying with Alex…" she told her defensively.

"Are you trying to save yourself from the pain? Would it really matter if he doesn't really care about you anymore? What if he's already out their partying with Addison? What then, Meredith?" Christina served her the cold and hard truths.

"I don't know," Meredith shrugged and looked at her friend with mixed emotions. "I don't know…"

-

"She's leaving me," Derek let out a strangled laugh. "No, wait, let me rephrase that. She's divorcing me." Derek stared at the spot he's been staring at for the last hour. He felt the couch move from the weight of Burke as he sat down beside him. He just sat there in silence, probably trying to absorb what he just said. "I signed the damn papers and I didn't even realize it. Am I that oblivious, Preston? When did I become that oblivious?" He looked at him now, his eyes trying to beg him for an answer to his question. Derek let out another strangled laugh. "She didn't even tell me why. She just left. I went home the other night and I didn't even realize her stuff were gone. Am I that oblivious?" He asked him once again. "Damnit, Preston. I c-can't lose her. Not this way. No." He shook his head and corrected his self. "I can't lose her."

"Maybe you've been taking her for granted, Derek," Burke offered him advice.

Derek shook his head, he believed it in his heart that he hasn't been leaving her for granted. "No. I was always there for her."

"Don't get mad, Derek, but…" Burke spoke quietly as if he knew Derek was going to regret what he was about to say. "These past few months that Addison's been here… You've been with her. Do you have any idea how many times Meredith spent dinner at our apartment because you can't spend it with her?" Burke took a deep breathe and continued. "Remember that night that you got the chief position? She went to our apartment that night, crying. _Crying_, Derek. Her husband just got promoted and she was crying! You know why she was crying? She was crying because she made dinner… You know how Meredith doesn't like cooking… And yet she made dinner and you didn't come home. You called her and you said you needed to stay overnight in the hospital because of the stuff you needed to do. And then she finds out that you went out to dinner with Addison. What kind of a man would have dinner with his ex-wife and leave out his wife, Derek? You tell me."

Derek just looked at Preston, not believing what he just heard. That can't be right… Right? He shook his head slowly and he muttered, "No."

"Derek," Preston laid a hand on his shoulder breaking him out of his memory. "You've caused her too much pain, maybe it's time you let her be."

"No," Derek shook his head stubbornly. "I-I can't let her go. I can't. I need to speak with her."

"You should give her more time, Derek. Give her time. Give her some space. Let her come to you."

"Yes," Derek nodded slowly as he realized it. "That's all we need, time. And when she's ready, we'll fix this. We have to fix this."

* * *

-

**So Derek found the papers. And since Meredith's phone has been shut off... We wouldn't exactly have a way to find out if he _did_ call her... I don't know either. haha. And it just came from nowhere that it was Burke who gave him the advice of giving Meredith time, Addison was supposed to be the one to walk inside the office but I changed it because I have big plans for Addison on this one.  
**

**-**

**Once again... **

ZeVampyre - _'I like how you've made alex so nice and adorable, so cuute! lol. I could also slap Derek across the face with a wet fish, becuase he is so arrogant in this story!'_ -** I really wanted people to see Alex as a protective brother on this fic... And about slapping Derek? Would you like me to hand you that wet fish now:D**

KB22 - '_Alex...is it just me or does he get more hot every week?' - _**Oh, he is getting hotter every week! He so is.**_  
_

littlewhitelie91 - '_please make alex the other and if not please make mark the other... oh and kill derek lol!' - _**I agree with the kill Derek part... ha-ha. But sorry to disappoint, but the 'other' would be appearing next chapter... and it's not Mark nor Alex... Cos' all my other fics are of Mark and Meredith... And it seems like I've been having a hard time getting inspiration to write about them... So... Sorry, Mark won't be showing up on this one... At least I _plan_ on him not showing up... **_  
_

McLoving Grey's - _'Oh, and the pretty boy, who walked up to her and gave her his card. I think he is pretty yummy. You should definitely keep him.; I like Mer and the guy in the bar, with his gelled blond hair and blazing blue eyes. Do a Mer/Alex friendship, but not them as a couple. We need a new guy in this story.' - _**Ask and you shall receive... A new guy shall be popping up next chapter. :D**

Namjr - _'I understand you're growing attached to your 'other' character, but right now i couldn't even imagaine beside the most obvious choice of 'Mark' anyone more adept protecting Mer and at the same time sticking it to Derek. Especially when you consider that the fact she would be leaving him for just intern and that would have to just dent his overinflated ego. Besides that i like seeing the protective side of Alex, and am actually hoping to see him hit the Chief.'_ - **It's not going to be Mark, my other fics are already overflowing with Mark. And I do agree that Derek's ego would be greatly damaged if Meredith goes with Alex but really, who is he kidding? Alex is way hotter than him. And don't worry, the _Chief_ shall be getting a hitting from pretty boy evil spawn soonish... **

**Once again, thank you for the reviews! And keep em' comin'. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary: A Meredith Grey story. To learn to live, you have to let go... To learn to let go, you have to have someone new to hold onto… R&R please. MerDer, Mer/Other.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and most certainly no one. I'm a borrower, Shonda Rhimes is the librarian.**

* * *

-  
Chapter 5  
**_You made up your mind to leave it all behind_**  
-

"What type of friends are we?" George asked as they all watched Meredith like a hawk. "Our friend just got divorced and we take her to a bar to drink away her pain. And we even go through great lengths to set her up with someone." George looked at the others and waited for their reply. "She just signed the papers two days ago! TWO days!!!"

"We're good friends, that's what we are. Derek Shepherd should rot in hell," Alex muttered, his eyes never leaving Meredith's back. The door opened and Alex's eyes went wide and he moved excitedly in his seat. "He's here. The bugger actually came." They all looked at the door and did indeed see the man in the suit they called earlier from the business card they got from Meredith's pockets. Izzie pretended to be Meredith on the phone as they talked to him. All their eyes and heads moved to the same direction as the guy approached Meredith.

"The guy's still wearing a suit," George muttered. "He's in a bar and he's still wearing a suit."

"He's a lawyer, George," Christina stated the obvious. "Of course he's in a suit." It was her idea to set Meredith up with the lawyer. She wanted her to move on as quickly as she could and what more than a gorgeous lawyer to keep her mind off of Derek. She smiled wickedly at herself and knew this was going to work out when the guy sat down Meredith. This was going to work out perfectly.

-

Meredith was on her third glass of tequila now. The drunkenness that was supposedly be affecting her by now was nowhere in sight. She was starting to be get immuned from tequila. She was thinking of what to drink next if she did start getting immuned from tequila when an unfamiliar voice came from behind her. She turned around and was surprised to see the guy from the other night.

"Hi," his voice was the same smooth voice from last time. Meredith thought it was just a side effect of the alcohol she drank that night. "I'm sorry I'm a bit late. Thinking up an excuse to get out of a meeting was much harder than I thought."

"Umm… Late?" Meredith raised her eyebrow as she looked at him with confusion. "I don't remember us setting a time… I don't remember us setting a date, actually." Then a horrible thought crossed her mind and she looked at him with horror. "I didn't call you when I was drunk, didn't I?"

He laughed and shook his head. "No, you didn't. But I'm betting your friends did. It was obvious that it wasn't you I was talking to. They actually thought I'd fall for it. But I really wanted to see you so I came either way."

"My friends?" Meredith frowned a little. "They set us up?" He nodded. Meredith turned around and looked back at their table and they all suddenly pretended to be busy with something, too guilty, she shook her head. She looked back at the guy and smiled at her apologetically. "Sorry about them, they don't do that often, this is a first."

"Well, I'm glad that I'm the first," he smiled. "So? Can I sit down?" He waited for her response and when she nodded her head, he sat down and offered his hand towards her. "I'm Layton, by the way."

Meredith looked at his hand for a second. She knew the moment that she shook his hand, it'll be one step forward for her, on step further from Derek. She wanted more than a step further from him, she wanted to run. She smiled and shook Layton's hand briefly. "Meredith."

He was the exact opposite of Derek. Derek was a doctor. Layton was a lawyer. Derek had black hair. Layton had blonde hair. Derek kept quiet on most of their conversations, lightly butting in when he teased her lightly about her opinion, he didn't share his opinions, only at times when he was angry. Layton was very outspoken, and he openly told Meredith that he disagreed with her and placed his two cents in.

Layton Matthews. That was his name. He was a lawyer, in Seattle for a business trip, a case he said, but he didn't go into details. He lives in Washington, D.C.. 37 years old. That was all he said about himself, he said the rest will just reveal itself as they went along.

"So are you seeing anyone at the moment?" he finally asked the question Meredith was dreading since the start of their 'date'. He was smiling and she expected him to be frowning by the time she told her the truth.

"I'm in the middle of a divorce, actually," she replied.

"How middle are we talking about here?" To her surprise, he held his smile in place and a playful side to it even showed.

"Seriously?"

He shrugged and took a sip of his whiskey. "I'm a lawyer, Meredith. I've been around a lot of people in the middle of a divorce. Most of the time when they admit they're in the middle, it's over. So is yours over?" His eyebrow hiked an inch.

"Mine's actually just beginning, we just signed the papers the other day," she offered him a sympathetic smile. "So you're a divorce lawyer?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm more of a criminal lawyer, actually, but I lieu way to divorce and corporate sometimes." He took a sip of his whiskey once again and then turned to her with a teasing smile. "You know… If you both already signed… It's not just beginning. It's over."

"I guess you could say that," she nodded. "But his signing? It's not really whole-heartedly. We kind of just tricked him into signing it."

"Tricked him? What, you got him drunk and made him sign it?" he asked with obvious interest. He laughed at his own joke and Meredith couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah, kinda like that," she nodded. "Is that legal?"

"Well, let's just put it like this," he breathed deeply as if he was going to do a closing argument. "You know all those people who get drunk and get married in Las Vegas?" She nodded and he continued. "All of their marriages are legal and they need to go through the law to have it annulled. So…"

"So even drunk people's signatures count," Meredith summarized. She was the one who breathed deeply this time. "So my marriage really is over?"

"Your marriage is over."

"It's over," she murmured.

It really was over.

* * *

-

**This chapter was mostly about Meredith letting it sink in that her marriage is over, because I think she was still holding on to something in the last few chapters... And next chapter she's finally gonna face Derek. Finally. And the other interns setting her up, as usual, to help her forget the pain that is Derek Shepherd. So... Enter the 'other' guy... Layton (Carter) Matthews. I LOVE his name. I'm _IN LOVE_ with his name. I want to marry his name. -sighs-  
**

**Someone asked if Derek's 'affair' was physical or emotional... Mostly it's emotional... More on that on the next chapter. Sorry I couldn't do the react on your reviews thingie... I still have an exam to study for tonight...**


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary: A Meredith Grey story. To learn to live, you have to let go... To learn to let go, you have to have someone new to hold onto… R&R please. MerDer, Mer/Other.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and most certainly no one. I'm a borrower, Shonda Rhimes is the librarian.**

* * *

-  
Chapter 6  
**_My heart has started to separate_**  
-

"I think I'm ready to talk to him now," Meredith announced to her small group of friends as she and Alex arrived early that day. They all looked at her as if she had two heads. "What?"

"Just do it after work, okay?" Christina sighed, knowing where this was going to lead to once again. Tears. "We wouldn't want to scare away the patients with your tear-stricken, swollen eyes."

Her day went past her like a zoom. The end of the day came to a screeching halt before her and she knew it was time to face the music. She hasn't seen him all day and she had no idea if he even went to work, but it was unlike him to skip work even for a small thing like their divorce. Nothing could stop Derek Shepherd from going to work. She stood in front of his office's door and she opened it cautiously and peeked inside. He was sitting on the couch, his face buried in his hands. She gently tapped the door to announce her presence. He uncovered his face and he looked at who was at the door, his face fell when he saw that it was her. He stood up and he waited for her to completely come in before he finally spoke. "Mer."

She ran the palm of her hands on her pants nervously. "I think we need to talk."

He looked at her for a second before finally nodding. "I think we do."

She honestly didn't know where to start. And the fast beating of her heart was making it harder for her to even think of anything coherent at the moment. She decided to sit down on the couch and she looked up at him consciously and he matched her stare. If Christina was here, she would have laughed at them and their supposedly 'talk'. They stared at each other for at least a minute before Derek went down on his knees and took her hands in his. He squeezed them tightly before he closed his eyes and buried his face on her lap. He stayed that way for a few seconds before he finally whispered, his voice muffled. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Do you love her?" her voice didn't crack as she expected it to. It came out strong which was so unlike her. She felt his head move out of its current position and he looked up at her, her breath hitched when she saw that he was crying. She wanted to reach over and wipe away his tears but she stopped herself. She repeated her question. "Do you love her?"

"I love you," he replied, his voice cracked and it came out weak, as if it were a whisper.

"You didn't answer my question."

"I love you, Mer, that's all that matters."

"You think it's that easy?" Meredith pushed his hand away from hers. He looked at her, his eyes full of questions that needed to be answered. But there was only one question that needed to be answered and Meredith had the answer, she knows. She knows that he loves Addison.

"No," Derek shook his head, his teary eyes gazing into hers, trying to find a way to convince her to stay with him. "It's not that easy but I'm making it that easy, Mer. I love you. I love you and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. Please, just… I-I can't live without you, Mer."

"Then what the hell were the last five months, Derek?" she spoke with anger. He really was blind as a fool. "Did you even know that I was right beside you? I was there but you couldn't see me, Derek! I was there! You!" Meredith pointed a finger at him. "You were the one who wasn't there." She paused, thinking of what she about to say next. This time she spoke softly. "I can't live without you, Derek." A sad smile adorned her face as she realized the irony of things. "But the last five months, you taught me how to live without you. And I thank you for that."

She couldn't take it anymore, she wanted to breathe, to escape. She stood up and she pried herself away from him.

"Mer," Derek held on to the edge of her scrub top and he grabbed a fistful of it to get a better hold of her. He stood up slowly and his hands went up to her face, he placed his hands firmly on the sides of her face and he brought his close to hers. He shook his head slowly as he looked her in the eyes. "Mer, no. Please, no."

"Tell me you don't love her," she closed her eyes and she felt his soft lips gently brushing hers. "Tell me that you don't love her." She kept her eyes closed, waiting for his words, but they never came. She opened her eyes and she knew that she just lost him there and there. She wanted to deny it, but it was hard to deny when the thing you want to deny was already staring you straight in the face.

"You can't even lie for me. You can't even…" She wasn't about to cry. No she wasn't, not if she could help it. She grabbed his hands and she pried them off of her face. She brought them down and she stepped away from him but he didn't let go of her hands. He held on tightly but she was stronger, she felt stronger. She pulled her hands away as she stepped further from him, he held on till it was only the tip of their fingers that touched and then she was gone.

-

Addison entered his office an hour later. He was sitting on the couch, still trying to absorb what has just happened to him an hour ago. His eyes met hers and he looked at her with wonder. He sighed, he was tired. He was really tired. "I love you." He uttered weakly. "I love you and I love Meredith. And I can't stop loving you even if she asks me." He noticed the way her face fell. He didn't know if it was out of pity or something else.

"You don't love me," she said softly as she shook her head. "You don't love me, Derek. You just feel responsible for me because you felt that you didn't give me a chance the last time." Derek looked at her, confused. "But you did give me a chance, Derek. I was the one who ruined our marriage, Derek. Don't let me ruin yours again. You don't love me, Derek. You love Meredith."

"You're my best friend, Addie, you always were."

"What we have is nothing but friendship, Derek. I'm your friend. What you have with Meredith is love. She's your best friend now, Derek. She's your best friend. She's your family. She's all you've got. You belong with her. You need to take care of her. You need to show her that it was her all along," Addison sat beside him and squeezed his hand.

"I can't live without her, Addie, she's everything," Derek confessed. "These past few months… I have taken her for granted." He realized it now. He accepted his faults. "Cos' I wanted to fix things between us, I wanted to make it up to you."

"Everything between us has been okay, Derek," Addison told him. "It was me who wanted to hold on to you. I wanted things to be the way they were and when you started to be friendly with me again… I forgot that you already have someone." It was a confession from her.

"Addie, it's not your fault…"

"If you don't blame me, Derek, then you've got no one else to blame," Addison reminded him. Derek looked at her and shook his head, determined. "So blame me. Blame me and make things right with her."

"No, it's my fault, Addie. I was the one who wanted to make things up with you. I was the one who spent less time with his wife and more time with someone else. I was the one who…" He looked at her as the reality hit him straight in the face. "I was the one who ruined our marriage…"

"Derek," Addison placed a hand on his shoulder gently. "M-maybe you need to take some time off… Go somewhere… Think… Then you could clear your mind and when you get back here… You two could fix things…"

"Wouldn't it be too late then?" He asked. He didn't want to go and leave things the way they are. He wanted to make things right. He wanted things to be the way they were. He wanted Meredith by his side, her ceaseless snoring waking him up in the morning. Her giggle when his stubble tickles her in the morning as he kissed her. Her morning argument with the coffee machine that wouldn't work properly. He wanted his wife back… All he wanted was to have her back… But he knew he wouldn't have her back until he clears out his mind and tell her that he loves her, only her… But did he really?

* * *

**-**

**There you go... The Derek and Meredith showdown... I had a lot of fun writing that part... All the drama was making me giddy for some reason... I know it hurt Meredith that Derek couldn't even lie to her about him not loving Addison... But I think he still does... Cos' as you remember from Chapter 1, Derek didn't go through the 'doubt' period so all his feelings weren't settled like originally in the show right now. In my story, he just jumped without even thinking... And we all know that's a bad thing to do... As they always say... Think before you act... And Addison? She knew what she was doing... She's _Satan_, remember? But she admitted it, and I think that'll help Derek really clear his mind and decide who's really in his heart... As for Meredith... She's hurt. But she'll deal with it. **

**Two words. **

**Tequila and Layton (they're just friends, for now, by the way).**

**So what do you guys think? Review please! Please!**

**And I finally found a title... Which I'm going to place next chapter... :D **


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary: A Meredith Grey story. To learn to live, you have to let go... To learn to let go, you have to have someone new to hold onto… R&R please. MerDer, Mer/Other.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and most certainly no one. I'm a borrower, Shonda Rhimes is the librarian.**

* * *

-  
Chapter 7  
**_I'll look after you_**  
-

"She ruined her marriage and now she's ruined mine," Meredith scoffed. Her drunkenness getting the better part of her. She looked over at Layton and gave her a lopsided grin. It's been two days since Meredith last saw Derek. She heard that he went on a little soul-searching trip and left SGH on the trustful hands of Burke. "You probably think I'm nuts now."

"I don't think you're nuts, Mer," he shook his head and placed a kiss on her forehead. Something that a friend would do. Because that's what they've decided to be. For now, anyway. "You're human. And you have the right to act like this when you've been stepped on."

"Spoken like a true lawyer," she giggled a little. She leaned her head on his shoulder and she continued on giggling. "You know. It's nice having you around."

"It's nice having me around, too," he playfully bantered.

"You're hopeless," Meredith rolled her eyes and propped herself up and looked at him. "You're still in a suit, you know. I haven't seen you in nothing but a suit. It makes me wonder if you have any regular clothes…" Her head leaned sideways a little. "Do you?"

"Business trips equals business suits, Meredith, all I have with me are suits, unless you want me to come here in my sleeping attire," he teased. "Do you?"

"If it'll get you out of that suit," Meredith shrugged. "Then why the hell not!" She then realized something and her eyes went wide in horror. "You don't sleep in the nude, right?" Her facial expression made Layton laugh out loud, his smooth laugh that Meredith always desired to hear. He shook his head at her and just continued on smiling. She playfully hit him on the arm. "What!"

"My sleeping attire constitutes silk pajamas with my initials embroidered in the front pocket," he told her. She didn't know if he was joking or not but she shrugged and accepted his answer. As long as he didn't sleep in the nude then he could come to Joe's in his sleeping attire.

"Derek wore flannel pajamas and an old ratted shirt," she muttered. The pain in her eyes from earlier were there again. She picked up an olive and threw it back down. She looked sheepishly at Layton. "I'm sorry, I'm going nuts again."

"Meredith? Have you considered going on a vacation? You know, take some time off and do some soul-searching, I heard it helps a lot," he said. When she didn't look at him, he figured she wasn't open to the idea. "Or not."

"Where do you think should I go?" she suddenly asked.

"Anywhere," Layton told her. "Anywhere you want to go, Mer. Just take some time off for yourself. Maybe it'll help."

"Someplace where I could think, huh?" she asked him as if making a mental note and thinking of where exactly she should go. "Heaven looks promising." She joked.

"At the way you're talking and thinking," Layton looked at her seriously. "It's not heaven you're going to, it's the one under." He turned in his seat and he turned her to face him, his hands firmly held on to her shoulders, and he looked at her, really looked at her. His blue eyes boring into hers. "Don't you dare do anything drastic, Meredith Grey, your husband could rot in hell. But you? You don't deserve anything of that sort."

* * *

-

**I want you guys to fall in love with Layton. Did you?**

**-**

**I already placed a title. :D **


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary: A Meredith Grey story. To learn to live, you have to let go... To learn to let go, you have to have someone new to hold onto… R&R please. MerDer, Mer/Other.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and most certainly no one. I'm a borrower, Shonda Rhimes is the librarian.**

* * *

-  
Chapter 8  
_**This is the distance**_  
-

"Here," Addison entered Derek's office and handed Burke a piece of paper. "It's my two weeks notice… Or something like that." Burke raised his eyebrows at her. "You can sign that, right? I mean, you are chief."

"I believe I can, but with a verbal yes from Derek," Burke told her as he laid down the paper on top of his desk alongside other papers.

"So he needs to say yes first," Addison followed through. She knew Derek would never say yes, especially not now. Addison let out a determined sigh. "Then fire me."

"What? Are you out of your mind?" Burke looked at her strangely. "I will not jeopardize my position just so you could run away from this mess you caused, Dr. Montgomery. Derek needs to be the one to release you from the services of this hospital."

"So you know about the mess I did."

"I live with Dr. Yang, Dr. Montgomery, so yes, I do know what you did. And off the record? It's not very nice. "

"On _or _off the record, Dr. Burke, what I did really wasn't nice. But I'm Satan, remember? The ruler of all evil," she remarked.

"And now you plan to run away and leave the mess you left behind?"

"It wasn't really my plan, Dr. Burke, one thing just led to another… My only mistake was riding with it when I could have stopped and made him realize what he was doing," Addison shrugged. It wasn't really her plan to ruin Derek's marriage, but it happened and she just chose not to stop it from happening. "And if you would just look past your clouded judgment, you'd actually realize that I'm going away for their sake. There's still hope for them to salvage what's left of their marriage."

"Salvage? What is there to salvage when the both of them are flying to god knows where, Dr. Montgomery."

"Meredith's leaving?" Addison asked, surprised by the news.

"I believe she is," Preston nodded. He ignored her reaction and took a hold of the papers she handed him a few minutes ago. "You need to wait for Dr. Shepherd to come back to have these signed. That is…" He looked at her with doubt. "If you still want to go knowing that there is nothing to salvage…"

"I'm not like that, Preston," Addison raised her brow at him.

"You did admit on being Satan, Dr. Montgomery, your words, not mine. And for some reason, I can't bear to disagree."

-

"Hey," Alex called her attention. She's been quiet their whole ride to the airport and now that they're waiting for her flight to start boarding, she's been staring into space. "Mer."

"What?" she turned her head and looked at him, clearly dazed.

"What's on your mind?" he asked her. He knew what she was thinking about. Shepherd, once again, of course. She's been thinking of nothing but Shepherd. She didn't reply so he continued to speak. "You know… If you keep on thinking about him… You'd never move on."

"I already moved on, Alex," she muttered.

"Keep telling your self that, Grey," he smirked. "Maybe you'd even start believing it… Seriously though, get that jerk out of your mind. You've done nothing but cry. And as much as I want to permanently ask you to move in with me?" He raised his brow and smiled at her. "I really do not want a hysterical chick in my apartment."

She smiled at his comment.

"See? You can still smile," he told her.

"Alex, could you do me a favor?" she suddenly asked as she pulled something from her bag. She handed him the small velvet box and he took it without hesitation. He opened it and found the two rings he has seen her wearing for the past two years.

"What? You want me to marry you?" he joked, trying so hard to lighten up the mood. "Cos' I'm not that easy to get, Grey. You need a more romantic plan to make me say yes."

"Alex! I'm not kidding around!" she lightly hit him on the shoulder but she was smiling, and that was all that matters to Alex. "Seriously."

"What do you want me to do with them?" he asked.

"Do whatever you want with them, I don't want them anymore," she spoke softly.

"You sure?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Throw them away or something…"

'_FLIGHT 71 to WASHINGTON, D.C. is NOW BOARDING passengers from the 1st class'_

Alex turned his head towards the door that led to the airplane. He looked at Meredith with a small smile. "That's you, Grey." She stood up and he followed suit as he helped her place her bag on her shoulder. She looked at him for a second and he noticed her eyes trailed down to the velvet box in his hands. He placed the offending hand behind his back and he called her attention. "Hey, look at me." She looked back at him and he smiled at her reassuringly. "You enjoy yourself there, Grey. And call me if that Layton dude tries anything. I'll beat the shit out of him. And don't forget that you're there to forget about McBastard."

"Thanks, Alex," she leaned over and gave him a hug. He wrapped his free hand around her and gave her a tight squeeze. She let go after a few seconds and bravely smiled at him. "I'll be back in three days."

"We'll be waiting," he gave her a wink and gently pushed her towards the entrance. He watched as she gave him one last look and walked inside completely. Alex sighed and looked around, looking for nothing in particular. He squeezed the velvet box in his hands and prayed to god that D.C. does some good for Meredith.

-

"This is all your fault, you know," George glared at Christina. Christina raised her eyebrow at him and waited for him to explain his self. "You were the one who introduced her to Layton. And look where she is now! Not here, Christina! Not here!"

"She's in D.C., George, that's where she is," Christina rolled her eyes. "It's just three days. She'll be back in no time."

"Well what if that Layton guy's a murderer, Christina! You just made her go with a murderer!" George

"Shut up, bambi," Christina pushed him. "McGorgeous won't be of any harm. He's a lawyer. A high-profile lawyer, at that. He's watched by the public, he won't be doing anything." When they all looked at her, she sighed, she knew those three knuckleheads had no idea whatsoever of the current events going on around them. "Don't you guys watch TV?"

"When did you have the time to watch TV?" Alex asked.

"He's the lawyer of that man who was convicted of raping the daughter of some rich folk or something," Christina informed her oblivious friends. They all gaped at her, clearly showing that they really didn't know anything. She shook her head in pity. "You guys should really learn how to manage your time."

"Is he any good?" George asked.

"He just won the case and from what I've heard, the man's as guilty as how guilty they could go," Christina smirked. A few minutes passed as they others absorbed what she just said. "So you guys have nothing to worry about, she's in perfectly safe hands. Okay?"

One by one, each of them gave a nod. After a few seconds more, Alex pulled something out of his pockets and examined it in front of them. Christina's eyes narrowed as she recognized the two rings Alex were playing with. "How much do you think these puppies will sell for?" Alex asked them with a small smirk and a hint of amazement.

"Are those Meredith's rings!?" Izzie grabbed them from Alex's hands and looked at them carefully. "How the hell did you get these?"

"She gave them to me when I brought her to the airport, she said I could do whatever I want with them," Alex shrugged as he took the rings back from Izzie. "I figured I'd sell them and make some bucks, you know. But what I really want to do is display them in front of Shepherd, tease him a little until he punches me so I'd have a reason to punch him back. I've been itching to punch that asshole."

"Don't we all?" Christina retorted.

"When the hell is that bugger coming back anyway? I need to know when I'm gonna start parading the halls with these babies," Alex wiggled the rings in his hands once again.

Christina wished the _bugger _came back soon. She can't wait to see Alex punch the dude.

* * *

-

**So Meredith's gone to D.C. Derek's god knows where... Preston's not a fan of Addison... Alex is not a fan of Derek... Some Mer/Alex moments... The rings are in Alex's hands... I wonder what he'll do with them... **

**I know it's dragging... But you guys have just got to wait and see... And don't you just love the wait :D  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary: A Meredith Grey story. To learn to live, you have to let go... To learn to let go, you have to have someone new to hold onto… R&R please. MerDer, Mer/Other.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and most certainly no one. I'm a borrower, Shonda Rhimes is the librarian.**

* * *

-  
Chapter 9  
_**She is everything I want that I never knew I needed  
**_-

Crying was the one thing that Derek Shepherd never succumbed in to his whole life. That fateful day when his most trustful first dog, Lassie, died… The day his father died… The day he caught his wife with his best friend in bed… The day he signed the divorce papers… Not a single tear was shed from him… That was until _she _came along and made him realize that it was okay to cry. He remembered vividly the first time he ever cried in front of someone else, it was in front of her and some of her friends. You would have thought that a tragic event that was much graver than his father's death would make him cry for the first time in front of someone… But no…

--- --- ---

(flashback)

It was during their first year of marriage… A surprising night in which they both had the day off… They were in bed, watching a rented movie she got from the store the same day… Who would have known that a mix of bad acting and a sappy storyline would make him feel teary-eyed. He hid it well since she was leaning on him and she couldn't see his face. He remembered her voice lightly joking, "You're not crying on me now, are you, Derek?"

When he failed to reply, she sat up and she looked at him. He was an expert in holding back his tears so he didn't mind that she was looking at him. She peered at him suspiciously and then she smiled. "What?"

"You're a sappy, sappy man, Derek Shepherd."

He looked at her, horrified. He wasn't about to be called a sap. "I am not!"

She gave her a smile that teased and had a sense of pride all at the same time. "It's alright to admit you're a sappy man, Derek, I won't love you any less."

He raised his brow and narrowed it in a second. "What do you mean you won't love me any less? You think I think you'll love me less if you found out I cry over movies like that?"

She shrugged. "Just admit that you want to cry right now, Derek."

Derek pursed his lips into a thin line and glared at her for a second. His eyes moved over to the TV screen and narrowed intensely. "It's just that stupid guy had to do what he did… Damnit." He muttered. His eyes went back towards her and she was beaming. "What?"

"So you want to cry… Why aren't you?"

"Cos' I don't cry in public!" he told her. "It's not a manly thing to do!"

"A _manly _thing?" her brow hiked an inch. "Derek Shepherd, there is nothing wrong in crying!" She looked at him sternly. "Now, cry."

"What?" he shockingly asked. But his tears were already threatening to fall in a second by then. "What do you mean, _cry_?"

The next morning, he turned off the alarm clock and turned to see her wide awake and staring into space. "Good morning. How long have you been awake?" he asked her, as he leaned over and placed a kiss on her lips.

"A few minutes," she replied gloomily after a few seconds she spoke with a more sullen tone. "I think I'll skip work today."

"Are you feeling sick?" he reached over to feel her forehead. "You're not hot."

"I have a feeling… A bad one… A really bad one…" she spoke in a soft voice. "I think I'll skip work."

"Mer…" he placed a kiss on her forehead and let it linger there for a few seconds before pulling back and looking at her in the eye. "It'll pass, just wait for the feeling to pass."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," he nodded, giving her a reassuring smile and running his fingers through her cheeks. She still didn't smile and he felt the need to reassure her more. "You're going to be okay, Mer."

"Are you going to cry for me?" she suddenly asked out of nowhere. He was taken aback and his eyes narrowed at her for a second before he remembered their conversation from the night before.

"I'm a man, Mer," he smirked at her. "I'll never cry in public." He placed one last kiss on her lips and went to go take a shower.

The day was about to end when the Code Black was announced. He was being thrown out of his OR, with Bailey's husband on the table, he stood his ground and he didn't budge. He was informed that a paramedic has her hand on a bomb that was going to explode with one wrong movement. He wasn't worried about being in the explosion, he was worried about getting killed by Bailey if he let her husband die on his table. It was Christina Yang who gave her the bad news. 

"It's Meredith," she spoke out loud. "The girl with the bomb is Meredith."

His hands went still and his heart skipped a beat. He looked at Christina, trying to see if she was playing a joke on him or not. Apparently, she wasn't, because there was fear in her eyes, and Christina Yang did not know what fear meant. It took a handful of seconds before he was brought out of his reverie by the sound of the heart monitor flat-lining.

"You had to be a cowboy," Chief Webber met with him as he vacated the elevator alone. He walked past him, ignoring him, and started to search for Meredith. He looked around frantically, praying that she'd be there somewhere. That in a second, she'd run to him and he'd wrap his arms around her and never let go. That the pain that was strikingly overcoming his whole body to go away once she sees her alive and well.

"Where is she?" he finally faced the Chief and asked him. "Damnit, Richard, where the hell is she?" He watched as Chief's expression went into a sullen one and he knew that something was terribly wrong. "Richard." He wanted to beg him not to say whatever he had to say. "Please. Please don't tell me..."

"They're still down there with Burke," Chief told him, placing a hand on his shoulder. A nurse approached them and Derek watched as the nurse passed him a sideway glance and looked at the Chief with meaning. The Chief also gave him a sideway glance and stepped away from him to speak with the nurse. He nodded as he listened to the nurse whisper whatever her news was to him.

"What's happening down there?" Derek asked after he watched the nurse walk away. Richard faced him and Derek thought he was going to fall apart from what he said.

"The bomb's gone off."

Derek could feel the cold overtake his whole body. He was frozen in his spot for a few seconds before he walked past the Chief and ran for towards the elevator. He could hear Richard's calls to him to stop but he ignored him. He reached the OR floor and ran towards the far end. He stopped in his tracks when he saw the wreckage and his heart stopped beating when he saw one or two interns huddled over his wife's lifeless body, trying to revive her.

"Move!' he pushed them aside and started to do CPR. "Breathe, Mer. Don't you dare do this to me! Damnit, Meredith!" he shouted at her as he continued to resuscitate her. He breathed in and breathed out, as if willing her to do the same thing. "Breathe!" he shouted once again. His world stopped when she let out a gasp of air and she opened her eyes. He gave out a sigh of relief and he cradled her body.

"What happened?" she asked, trying to regain her composure.

"The bomb, it exploded. You're okay, Mer," he spoke softly as he placed a kiss on every part of her face that he could. "You're okay." He didn't know if it was her he was reassuring or himself at that moment, all he knew was he needed for her to be okay.

She reached up her hand and gently ran it across my cheeks. She gave out a small, weak smile. "You cried for me."

He was surprised at what she said, he ran his hand over his cheeks and found them wet. There really was nothing wrong with crying in public. He leaned over and leaned his forehead on hers. He looked deeply into her eyes and smiled. "I did, Mer, I cried for you. But don't ever do that to me again, okay?"

--- --- ---

The gentle tugging on his fishing pole woke him from his memory and he pulled on it. Unfortunately, whatever he caught got away as fast as it hooked on. He sighed out loud and closed his eyes for a second. He opened them and took in his surroundings. He flew to Maine when he decided that he needed time off. He owned a land here, almost identical to the land he had in Seattle. Even the trailers were the same. Meredith didn't know about his land in Maine, he never had the chance to tell her, or the chance to bring her here. He has always planned on building a house here once he decides to retire.

He gave out a soulless laugh, if he were still married to Addison, she would have found a way to find out about this land. And she would have already persuaded him to build a house to add to their properties. But that was Addison… And Meredith was… Meredith was Meredith… She was the simple, dark and twisty girl that left her big house to live with him in his little trailer. She was the girl who showed her how to laugh out loud and not care if other people look at you crazy… She was the one who taught her how to cry... She was the girl who made him realize that living life was not about the luxuries or the money, it was about the experience of living life itself… She was the girl who he woke up beside him every morning and made him feel like he wanted to stay in bed all day… She was the love of his life…

And he needed to get her back.

* * *

**-**

**This wasn't supposed to be chapter 9, it was supposed to be a _part_ of chapter 9. But I realized it needed a chapter all on its own... So there... Derek's contemplation, reflection, or whatever you want to call it... He really still loves her... But a part of him also loves Addison... And that's what Meredith wants gone... But can you really dictate your heart who to love and who to not love...?  
**

**-**

**Please let me know what you think of this... haha. I'll be running out of inspiration soon... And you wouldn't want this to be placed on hiatus... right? hahha. but seriously, I think I need to work on my Mer/Mark fics soonish...  
Anyhows... I need to run to class now. :D**

**-**

**Oh, and a thanks to LaLaLovely47 who has not forgotten to review even though she's too lazy to Log-in. LOL. and for your hilarious comment _"I love that Burke doesn't like Addison. She should be MISERABLE AND DIE. For the benefit of humanity. You know. Good of the children."_ ::: Yes, indeed. For the benefit of humanity... Addison Montgomery should be miserable... not die though... Cos' that's just mean... But hey, I won't be complaining if it happens eventually... **


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary: A Meredith Grey story. To learn to live, you have to let go... To learn to let go, you have to have someone new to hold onto… R&R please. MerDer, Mer/Other.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and most certainly no one. I'm a borrower, Shonda Rhimes is the librarian.**

* * *

-   
Chapter 10  
_**I'd rather run the other way than stay and see**_  
-

As the end of her 3-day stay in D.C. drew near, Meredith Grey didn't want to go back to Seattle. Seattle meant going back to see Derek and Addison. And wherever they were, there was pain. But Seattle also meant going back to see her friends, and going back to doing what she loved the most—surgery. She was confused and Layton was not helping her by being so kind, understanding, and supportive.

When she arrived in D.C., he picked her up from the airport, treated her for lunch and brought her to the hotel. He offered his home to her but she declined. She needed at least a bit of freedom. And it was too early for her to be accepting home-stay invitations from him, she didn't want to take advantage of him.

"Tell me something I don't know, Layton," her eyes waited for his to meet hers. His blue eyes turned to her and he smiled. They were at a restaurant downtown for lunch. She was leaving the next day and he was desperately trying to make her stay.

"You're going to be fine, Mer, you don't think it now but you'll be fine," he gently told her. He reached out and gently ran his fingers down her cheeks. "Tell me something I don't know, Meredith."

"I don't want to go back to Seattle," she said it out loud.

"Then stay here," he took her hands and enclosed it in his. "I already looked at the hospital right across my firm, their surgical wing's very promising, Mer. It's one of the best in the east coast. You can stay here, forget about Seattle."

Meredith gave her a sad smile. "If only it were that easy. My friends, Seattle is where my friends are. I can't leave them."

"Then let them come here too," he spoke quickly as if he already planned everything. "My Father's a doctor, you know. He's the head of the board of directors there. I can make a donation and they'd make room for you five."

"You don't know me all that well to be offering me the world, Layton," she looked at their hands and she untangled hers from his.

"Meredith, I'll give you the world if that's what it gets for me to know you," Layton gently told her.

"I don't want the world, the world doesn't want me…" Meredith muttered.

"Just think about it, Mer," Layton told her.

When Meredith did not say anything, Layton probably felt that it was time to talk about another thing. He took a sip from his coffee and clasped his hands together. "Do you like kids?"

Meredith looked at him, thoughts streaming into her mind.

--- --- ---

(flashback)

"Hey, you look glum, what the hell's wrong with you?" Christina found her sitting on one of the hospital beds in the basement. She sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at her curiously. "Hey!"

Meredith muttered a 'nothing' to Christina and rolled over to face the wall and away from Christina's unwavering gaze.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" Christina repeated once again. "Did Derek go out with on a celebratory dinner with Satan again?"

"It's nothing," Meredith replied.

"If you don't tell me this instant, I'm going to barge into your husband's office and demand him to tell me what's wrong with you _and _tell him off about his dinner with Satan the other night," Christina warned her. Meredith gave out a sigh of defeat and turned over to face her. "Now tell me."

Meredith took a deep breathe before saying what she had to say. "I think I'm pregnant."

"WHAT!?"

"I'm not sure though. I'm 3 weeks late. I think it's just the stress though," she added quickly.

"Did you take a test?"

"Not yet."

"You've got the worst timing in the world, did you know that?"

"What?" Meredith protested. "What's wrong with my timing?" Christina shot her a look and she knew what she was talking about. "Do I tell Derek?" Meredith asked her after letting out a deep sigh.

"Not until you're sure," Christina told her. "Have you talked about having children?"

"No," Meredith shook her head. "I don't think he wants children."

"I thought you haven't talked about it? How could you even think about that?"

"He's been with Addison for 11 years, Christina, 11 years! And they didn't have any children… Doesn't that imply anything?" Meredith asked her.

"Maybe she's infertile," Christina shrugged. They both shared a look and then laughed out loud at the same time. "Seriously, maybe she is." Once again, they laughed out loud, pulling some sense of satisfaction from their momentary laughter.

Meredith went to Derek's office that afternoon. She knocked on the door a few times and entered. He looked up from the papers he was reading and smiled at her a bit. "Derek."

"What brings you here?" he asked her.

"Dinner. Tonight."

"Ahh," Derek suddenly cringed. "I've got a long night… I have a surgery… Rain check?"

"It's always raining here, Derek, we shouldn't let the rain be a reason," Meredith muttered angrily and walked out of his office. She didn't know what made her mad, that he didn't follow her or that he wouldn't be there tonight as she takes the pregnancy test.

It was around 11 PM that night that Derek arrived in the trailer. Meredith was in bed, silently shedding her tears, her thoughts running to the negative pregnancy test that was in the trash bin. She kept her eyes closed as she heard him shuffle around the small trailer, and after a few minutes, he was already in bed and beside her.

"You're still awake?" Derek quietly asked.

"How do you know?" she asked him, not turning around.

"You're not snoring," he simply said. "What's the matter?"

"It's nothing," she shook her head, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Are you sure?" he prodded.

"Yeah," she lied. "I'm alright." She didn't want to tell him that her pathetic tears were over a pathetic negative pregnancy test. She didn't even know whether or not she wanted a child at that moment or not. All she knew was that it hurt… It really hurt…

--- --- ---

"If you keep on doing that spacing out thing," Layton's voice broke her reverie. "I'd be offended that you don't find the things I say interesting."

Meredith offered him a small apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of something. What were you saying?"

"I said, maybe you could have dinner over at my place tonight, you could meet Ethan," Layton told her. "I bet he'll be happy to meet you, I've been telling him all about you." Layton smiled a little, probably remembering something. "He said he wanted to meet you but I told him I'd ask you first."

"How old is he again?" Meredith asked.

"See? You're not listening," Layton gently kidded her. "He's turning 6 next month. But according to him, he's already 6. He's adorable, Meredith. You'll love him."

"When can I meet him then?" Meredith asked with a smile,

"Dinner tonight."

-

"Meri! Meri! Wake up! Wake up!" Ethan jumped up and down on her bed. "Wake up!"

Meredith opened her eyes after a few seconds and smiled at the little boy who was jumping up and down. Once he saw that she was awake, he laid down on his stomach beside her and looked at him with his bright blue eyes. "Good morning," Meredith greeted. They had dinner last night and Meredith immediately fell in love with Layton's nephew. The little boy has immediately charmed her into just spending the night at their house.

"Good morning, Meri," Ethan greeted her. "Uncle Lay's down there. We're having pancakes!"

"Let me just go brush my teeth, okay?" Meredith asked her. Ethan nodded and watched as Meredith went into the bathroom. She emerged a few minutes later. Ethan stood on the bed and stretched his arms up to Meredith and she carried him downstairs.

"Good morning, Uncle Lay!" Ethan greeted.

"Good morning," Layton greeted the two, placing the newspaper he was reading down on the table. "Did you have a good sleep last night, Mer? I made sure you had a good wake up call today…"

Meredith nodded. "You're not using him to make me stay, now are you?" Meredith smiled at Layton, pertaining to the child in her arms.

Layton raised his brow and smiled. "Is it working?"

Ethan looked at Meredith, waiting for her reply. Meredith smiled down at him. "Maybe I could stay for a few more days…"

"Did you hear that Ethan? We did it!" Layton gave Ethan a high five.

"Yay!" Ethan cheered, placing a big kiss on Meredith's cheek.

-

"You came back," Christina stated as she watched Meredith place her bags inside her locker. "I thought you were never coming back."

Meredith glared at her. "I've been gone for a week, Christina. It's not like I was gone for a year."

Christina scoffed. "From the looks of your ex it looked like you died. The man hasn't shaved, hasn't left his office…"

"Could you please stop mentioning him around me from now on?"

"That one week did you good, Mer. Usually it was tears that accompanied Derek's name. Now it's anger. I like it," Christina nodded appreciatively. "I'd have to say McGorgeous did his job well." In the mention of Layton's McNickname, Meredith sat down and looked Christina seriously. "What?"

"What do you think of D.C., Christina? Their surgical programs, I mean."

"You're not thinking of moving, are you?" Christina looked at her friend, trying to search her eyes of what she was planning or thinking of doing. Meredith kept still for a few seconds, not uttering a word.

"I already requested for transferal forms before I went here."

* * *

-

**I'm running out of things to say... -sighs-**

-


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary: A Meredith Grey story. To learn to live, you have to let go... To learn to let go, you have to have someone new to hold onto… R&R please. MerDer, Mer/Other.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and most certainly no one. I'm a borrower, Shonda Rhimes is the librarian.**

* * *

-  
Chapter 11  
_**Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same**_  
-

"Tell me something I don't know, Meredith," Layton's voice came from the other end of the line. Meredith looked down at the papers she was holding, her right hand holding a pen, she's been staring at the spot where she would sign and indicate her leaving of Seattle Grace for good.

"I'm thinking of leaving Seattle," she said. He kept quiet for a few seconds. She was waiting for him to say something but he didn't. "Tell me someth-"

"I already know you're thinking of leaving Seattle, Meredith, what I don't know is if you really are leaving," he cut her off.

"Tell me something I don't know, Layton," she chose to ignore his comment and went on with their habit.

"You're a hard woman to get, Meredith Grey, but I know it's going to be worth it," he spoke quietly and Meredith knew he was thinking if he said what he just said at the right time. "And Meredith?"

"Yeah?"

"Just sign the damn papers," he told her.

"Wh- How did you know?" She looked around her for a second before narrowing her eyes and speaking to him once again. "Are you stalking me or something? Where are you?"

"You didn't look hard enough," his voice was teasing. She looked around once again and she finally saw him on one of the seats in the farther end of the lobby. He was wearing his trademark attire, a suit, as if going to a charity ball as always. He waved at her and smiled. "So? Are you going to sign them or not? After that, it's free sailing for you, Meredith." She looked at him and she shook her head. "What? Not free sailing yet?"

"I still need to have it signed by the Chief, Layton," she said. He didn't know yet.

"So? He'll see no problem in letting you go, you've got no ties to this hospital," he shrugged. She watched as he shifted in his seat and leaned forward.

"You see, the Chief? He's my husband," she finally told him. She watched as his face fell and he sat up straight and leaned once again on the back of the chair. He didn't say anything. "Layton?" He brought down the phone from his ears and he shut it closed as he stood up. He walked towards her and Meredith slowly brought down her phone. He stopped right in front of her and he looked at her intensely.

"I'd like to see him not sign your transferal, Meredith, I'd like to see him try not to. I'll slap him with a lawsuit so fast he wouldn't even know what hit him," Layton spoke harshly. She imagined that that was the exact way he spoke every time he was in a court room.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" she evaded the topic.

"I needed to finish some stuff regarding my case," he replied. She was thankful that he didn't press on the issue that she has bluntly evaded.

"I thought you already won that one?"

"Some stuff still needed to be done," he shrugged. He flashed her a smile. "Besides, it seems like I can't tear myself away from you."

She didn't know how to react to what he said. She kept quiet, her usual choice of trying to avoid a conversation. She knew Layton knew that she didn't want to talk about it so he changed the topic.

"I heard you already moved out of your friend's apartment…"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I moved into a hotel room last night. I think Alex was starting to get backaches from sleeping on his couch." She smiled a little, remembering how Alex was denying his backaches every morning.

Layton's phone started to ring, he looked at it for a second, glancing at the caller ID and he looked at Meredith. "I need to take this. Just sign the papers, Mer. I'll see you tonight." He gave her a smile and walked away. Meredith sighed deeply and looked down at the papers once again. She knew what needed to be done. She knew what the right thing to do was now…

-

"Alex, right?"

Alex looked over to his right and found Layton looking at him with a polite smile. "Hey." Alex shook his hand briefly and gave him a curt nod. "Dude, what are you doing back here? You're not chasing after Meredith, now are you?"

Layton let out a small laugh and nodded. "Yeah. As a matter of fact, I am."

"So, have you succeeded?" Alex asked, raising his brow.

"I'm getting there…"

The elevator doors opened just as Layton's phone started to ring. He excused himself from Alex and stepped closer to the corner to answer the call. Alex watched him and then turned his attention back to the door in time to see Derek walk in.

"Dr. Karev," Derek greeted him with a polite nod. Derek stood on the spot that Layton occupied a while ago. He turned his head and looked at Alex. "Have you seen Dr. Shepherd?"

"No, sir," Alex shook his head. "I haven't seen Dr. Grey." He emphasized the word Grey.

"I haven't seen her for days," Derek told him. Alex shrugged, not caring any less, as he raised his brows at a 'so what?' manner.

"It's a big hospital, she's probably somewhere around here," Alex would have scoffed out loud if he didn't give a rat's ass about his job, but he did. So he needed to wait for his chance to do what he has been itching to do long before Meredith signed those divorce papers… Punch Derek Shepherd in the face. Alex smirked, thinking of his devious plan. He quickly wiped it away as he saw Derek looking at him strangely. Alex cleared his throat and looked back at Layton who has just finished his phone call.

Layton pocketed his phone and watched as the elevator doors open, he walked past Derek accidentally bumped into him. Layton uttered a 'sorry' to Derek and looked at Alex before speaking. "Tell her I'll see her tonight for dinner. Do you know what time she gets off?"

"I think she's off at 8." Alex nodded. "I'll tell her."

"Thanks," Layton smiled appreciatively and walked out of the elevator completely.

Alex smiled cockily, almost breaking into song. He glanced at Derek who was oblivious to the fact that the man who just bumped into him was probably the same man who was going to make his wife, ex-wife, forget all about him. Alex got off on his floor and with all the luck in the world, saw Meredith just around the corner. He made sure that the elevator doors were closed before he walked closer to her.

"Mer," Alex called out.

"How's the back?" she grinned playfully. "Better now that I'm gone?"

"You could say that," Alex shrugged. "But my apartment's always open for you, always remember that. My back's had worse. You've got nothing to worry about."

"Well, my back's getting pretty pampered by the hotel's bed, so your back could get pampered by your own bed," Meredith told him.

"By the way, I just caught a ride with your lover boy in the elevator, he told me to tell you that he'll see you for dinner tonight. I told him you're off at 8," Alex told her. When she didn't respond, he raised his eyebrow. "Something wrong?"

"What do you think of Layton, Alex?" she suddenly asked.

He was caught in surprise, he didn't expect her to ask him something like that. He thought about it for a moment, thinking back to the man he's seen a few times. "He looks like a decent man. Not as hot as me though," he shrugged arrogantly.

Meredith rolled her eyes and gently hit him on the arm. "Seriously!"

"I am serious! What else do you want me to say!? I'm a dude, I don't do girl talk!" Alex reminded her. "Go to Yang or Stevens if you want to talk chick."

"You know you like it," Meredith teased him.

"Yeah," Alex nodded a bit. His eyes trailed down to the papers she was holding. "What's that?"

"Transferal forms," she held it up. She looked at it sadly for a moment before handing them towards Alex. Alex took them without any hesitation. "I already signed them, all I need to do now is to get them to Derek's office."

"I'll make sure of it," Alex told her. "I'll even hand it to him personally if you like."

"There's no need for that," she told him, shaking her head a little, a tight smile adorning her face. "I wouldn't want you to get a black-eye out of this."

Alex scoffed out loud. "Dude, I went through college in a wrestling scholarship. Who do you think would come out crying in that scenario?" Alex gave her a wink. "I'll make sure he gets this." He flailed the papers in the air as he walked away. He turned around and gripped the papers in his hands. He was holding Meredith Grey's future in his hands, and he was determined to make sure her future would be bright and shiny. Because Alex Karev knew that Meredith Grey deserved it.

* * *

-

**Okay. I know this chapter's a bit _useless_... Hmm... But all I want to know is:::  
Who wants to see Alex Karev punch the daylights out of Derek Shepherd!?**

**And I also want to know:::  
Mer/Derek? Mer/Layton? **

**Cos' I'm having 2nd thoughts... **


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary: A Meredith Grey story. To learn to live, you have to let go... To learn to let go, you have to have someone new to hold onto… R&R please. MerDer, Mer/Other.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and most certainly no one. I'm a borrower, Shonda Rhimes is the librarian.**

* * *

-   
Chapter 12  
_**Here today, gone tomorrow**_  
-

Whatever her friends were doing in hiding her was planned perfectly and was being executed flawlessly. He hasn't caught a glimpse of even her hair for the two days that she has gone back to work. He heard that she went to D.C. to visit an old friend, but that was all he heard. He's been having her paged but her friends were the ones who always takes the page.

He walked inside his office and found Alex Karev placing something on his desk. Alex turned to him, looking a bit shocked but shook it off after a few seconds. He expected Alex to walk out of the room but he just stood there with a smirk in his face. Derek walked over to his desk and grabbed the papers.

"What the hell is this?" Derek asked as looked at what Alex just placed on his desk. His eyes went wide as he read Meredith's name on the transferal forms. "Where the hell did this come from?"

"Special delivery, Dr. Shepherd," Alex smirked. Derek glared at him, not knowing what came over him, pushed Alex into the wall and held him in place with his hands. Alex didn't make any move to push Derek off.

"You need to tell me where she is," Derek held Alex in place but his voice was begging. "You need to tell me so I could talk to her."

Alex's eyes didn't show any emotion, a little amusement maybe. "I'll never tell you where she is, Shepherd. Just sign the damn transferal forms so she could get out of this deep shit and move on to the life that she truly deserves."

"Where the hell is she!?" Derek shouted, banging Alex on the wall, harder this time. "Just tell me. Please."

"If you don't get your hands off me this very moment, I won't hesitate to punch you, Dr. Shepherd. Even if you're my boss, I swear to god, I won't hesitate," Alex looked at him without any hint of regret on what he just said.

"Just tell me where she is," Derek emphasized his words.

"You really want to know where she is?" Alex scoffed. He reached into his pockets and slapped something into Derek's chest. "Where she is is the place that's nowhere near you!"

-

Alex watched as Derek looked at the contents of the small plastic he just shoved into his chest. "Where the hell did you get these?" Derek looked at the rings, releasing Alex from his grip. Alex watched as Derek's hands trembled a little and his eyes turned to him with anger and disbelief. Alex was caught of guard, not expecting the punch that hit him perfectly on the cheek. Alex smirked as he tasted the blood in his mouth.

"It's about time, dude," Alex punched him back, his years of fighting in the alleys when he was a kid coming to his advantage. Derek stumbled back a little but charged towards Alex once again. Derek threw another punch but Alex easily blocked it and threw in his own punch, this time causing Derek to ram into the wall and fall down. He walked over to him and pulled his hand back for another punch. He was determined to make Derek feel pain for every tear that Meredith shed.

"Dr. Karev!" Burke's voice came from behind and Alex felt himself being pulled away from Derek.

"Damnit, let me go! I'm not finished!" Alex shouted, trying to escape Burke's hold on him. His eyes were focused on Derek who was already panting, seemingly tired from their small brawl.

"If you love your job, Dr. Karev, you'd stop what you're doing," Burke told him. That knocked some sense into Alex. He relaxed and Burke let him go. "What happened in here?"

"Dude," Alex massaged his jaw. "He started it."

-

Meredith walked inside Derek's office and looked at the occupants of the room. Her eyes went towards Derek who was sitting on the floor, leaning on the wall, his eyes were fixated on her. And she knew he was about to say something so she immediately reverted her gaze into Alex. She approached him and she turned his face towards her.

"What the hell happened?" she asked him.

"Your ex went all psycho on me," Alex spoke. He tried to look at Derek but Meredith held his face in place. "Dude! That hurts!"

"Sorry," she muttered. She looked at the cut once again. "I think you need stitches."

"It's nothing," Alex rolled his eyes, this time successfully removing his face from Meredith's grip and turned to Derek. "He's the one who needs medical attention. Blood's dripping all over."

Meredith didn't turn to look at Derek, keeping her attention on Alex. "_You _also need medical attention."

"Dr. Shepherd, I'll do your stitches," Christina stepped forward. Meredith gave her a thankful glance.

"Alex, c'mon," Meredith grabbed Alex's hand and dragged him out of the room. "I'll stitch you up." She led him to one of the exam rooms and made him sit down on the table. She started to work on his small cut. "What happened there?"

"Well, the dude cornered me, shoved me into the wall and all that," Alex told her, trying to keep still. "He kept on demanding that I tell him where you are."

"So you punched him?" she raised her eyebrow at him.

"I told the dude to back-off," Alex shrugged. "He was itchin' for a fight. And he punched me first."

"Alex!" Meredith called out. "He's our boss! Do you have any idea how much trouble you could get in?"

"I don't care," Alex muttered.

"Well we care, Alex. We care about you," Meredith told him gently. She knew that Alex punched Derek because of her. She knew that he was just trying to protect her. But she didn't want him to go through any trouble by doing that.

"Look, this little group we have is new to me. I've never had the kind of friendship we have… I've never had friends, honestly. I had people I hang out with… But what us five have, it's new to me. And I know we're all supposed to have responsibilities," Alex never took his eyes off her. "When that jerk hurts you… O'Malley does the stuttering, Stevens does the smiling brightly thing, Yang does the threatening… And I think it's my responsibility to do the punching, Grey. Cos' you can't do it for yourself…"

Christina suddenly entered the small room and looked at Meredith. "Meredith! Heads up, McBastard's on his way here." She looked at Meredith and Alex and gave out a sigh of disbelief. "You're still not done stitching him up? I had to stitch McBastard's face in two places!"

"We were talking, Yang," Alex told Christina.

"Well stop talking!" she told them. "He's on his way!" Christina peeked outside, and cursed. "Crap, he's here." The door swung open the same time that Christina's pager went off. "Damnit." She looked at her pager and then at Derek and then at Meredith and Alex. "I need to go."

"Meredith, we need to talk."

Meredith didn't turn around to look at him, but she could see Alex's eyes stare coldly at where Derek was standing. She ignored Derek for a few seconds as she finished Alex's stitches. "Alex?"

"You actually want to talk to him?" Alex asked in disbelief.

"Alex, please," Meredith told him. He shook his head in disgust and got off of the table.

"I'll be lurking around, just shout if you need anything," Alex told her as he walked passed her. She didn't turn around until she heard the door shut. She took a deep breathe, knowing she's about to go into another rollercoaster conversation chock full of emotions, before turning around and staring into Derek Shepherd's eyes.

* * *

-

**Here you go... Alex punched the daylight out of Derek. Not enough though... Burke just had to show up... Bummer. haha. And we all know what's happening on the next chapter. Another rollercoaster conversation chock full of emotions...**

-

**I got more reviews last chapter. Yay. I just knew you guys were somewhere in there hiding... All I had to do to lure you in was to make you make a vote... haha. And it hurts me that some of you are just sticking around for the possible Mer/Der ending...  
**


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary: A Meredith Grey story. To learn to live, you have to let go... To learn to let go, you have to have someone new to hold onto… R&R please. MerDer, Mer/Other.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and most certainly no one. I'm a borrower, Shonda Rhimes is the librarian.**

* * *

-  
Chapter 13  
_**To turn and run when all I needed was the truth**_  
-

Derek watched as Alex got off of the table and walked past him, giving him a deadly glare. Derek held his head up proudly, not even letting the fact that Alex beat him to a bloody pulp get in the way. He needed to be strong and keep his ground in order to fix things between him and Meredith. He waited until Alex closed the door before looking at Meredith once again. His heart skipped a beat, seeing that she was staring at him.

"What do you want?" she simply asked.

"An explanation. For everything," he told her. "Especially this." He gripped her transferal papers tighter and his fists squeezed her rings closer.

"Just sign them, get this over with," she told him. "I need to move on, Derek. Let me move one."

"You can't do this, Meredith, you can't run away from this! You can't run away from us!" Derek waved her transferal papers furiously in front of her. "You can't do this!"

"Who gave you the right to say that to me, Derek? You were the one who abandoned me in the first place!" she retaliated.

"I did not abandon you, Meredith. You ran! You're running away! You're the one who's not giving us the chance."

"I gave us a chance, Derek. For months… I tried to… I tried to…" she searched for words to say, she seemed to have gotten lost because she stopped and she just stared at him for the longest time. Then she said something Derek knew was the truth. "You were the one who made me feel like a stranger every time I walked into a room with the two of you in it."

"Mer…"

"You were supposed to love me, Derek," she spoke weakly but her eyes spoke volumes.

He stepped closer. "But I do love you. I do."

"You were supposed to love me more than anyone else..." she finished. "I gave you everything, Derek. Everything," she emphasized the word. She did give him everything. Happiness. Understanding. Love. Forgiveness. He knew that. "And all I asked you was for you to love me completely."

"I love you, Mer. I love you," he told her again. "Addie… She's gone. She walked away."

She looked at him and shook her head slowly. "I wanted _you _to walk away from her, Derek. I wanted you to come to me freely. I wanted you… I wanted you, Derek… I wanted _you_."

Derek looked at her, she looked broken. She's been through a lot, Derek knew that, but he hasn't seen her like this ever. And it hurt him that he was the reason for this pain that she was going through. He promised her… He promised her everything… He closed the small steps between them and took her into his arms.

"Derek, let me go!" she started to pound her little fists into his chest, hitting everything that she could hit but he held on. He held on to her, determined not to let go. To never let go. "Let me go!"

"No, Meredith, no," he kept his hold on her. He wanted her to feel that he was there. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He chanted in a whisper. "I'm sorry for everything. Please don't make me let you go." he whispered to her as he clutched to her for dear life. "Please don't make me let you go…"

"Derek! You're hurting me!" she shouted at him.

That made him let go. It hurt him to hear it coming out of her mouth. All he wanted was to give her love… But for some reason, all he has ever given her was pain. They stared at each other, tears streaming down her cheeks, unshed tears threatening his. He looked down on the rings that he was holding to. He wanted to give it to her, he wanted her to accept them and for it to be a sign that they were alright again. But he knew that if he gave it to her right now and if she accepted them, it won't mean what he wanted it to mean… So he chose not to give it to her. He'll have another chance once she accepts him again… Once he made things right again…

He looked back at her, noticing that she has already wiped away her tears. They stood a foot apart but he felt like they stood miles apart. "Mer…"

Christina opened the door wide open, her eyes went from her to Derek in a second and then back at her again. "Meredith! Get your butt down in ER, they just brought McGorgeous in! He's been shot!"

* * *

-

**That was short... haha.  
**


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary: A Meredith Grey story. To learn to live, you have to let go... To learn to let go, you have to have someone new to hold onto… R&R please. MerDer, Mer/Other.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and most certainly no one. I'm a borrower, Shonda Rhimes is the librarian.**

* * *

-  
Chapter 14  
_**Cause we have spoken everything**_  
-

Meredith scurried out of the locker room, she spent the whole night in Layton's hospital room, waiting for him to wake up but he didn't. Christina woke her up at 5 AM that morning to tell her that she needed to do pre-rounds. It was not until 7 AM that she had the chance to go inside his room, just in time for rounds. She leaned on the farthest side of the wall adjacent to the door, hoping no one would question her being there.

"Good morning," Derek suddenly walked inside and mumbled to the interns that were gathered inside the room. He didn't notice that she was there and she was thankful.

"Layton Carter Matthews, 37-years old, was brought in last night with a gunshot wound in his shoulder blades. He complained of not being able to move and feel his hands early this morning to a nurse," the intern who was presenting said.

Derek walked closer to Layton and he instructed him to move his pinky. After a few seconds, no movement was done. Derek ran the tip of his pen and asked him if he felt it. Layton shook his head. "How do we proceed?" Derek asked no one in particular.

"CT scan, look for any nerve damage and fix surgically," the same intern answered.

Derek nodded, satisfied by her answer and handed her the chart. "Welcome to the case." He looked at Layton with a reassuring smile. "This is Dr. Perls, Mr. Matthews, she's going to assist you down to CT."

"Thank you, Dr. Shepherd," Dr. Perls gave her a shy smile, it was obvious that Derek's _McDreamy-ness_ worked once again.

"Dr. Shepherd?" Layton suddenly spoke. "Derek Shepherd?"

"That would be me, yes," Derek nodded.

"I don't have to be nice to him, do I?" Layton tilted his head to the side in order to see past Derek and he looked straight at Meredith. "Meredith?"

Derek turned around and it was evident in his face that he was surprised to see her there. "Dr. Shepherd, what are you doing here?"

"It's Dr. _Grey_," Layton answered for her. "And I asked her to be here."

"You two know each other?" Derek raised his eyebrow at Meredith and looked at Layton.

"Tell me something I don't know, Meredith," Layton lazily smiled at her as if no one was with them in the room. Meredith couldn't help but smile at him, he really had the worse timings in the world to do their daily habit.

"You're going to be okay, Layton," she said with a reassuring smile. "You're going to be okay." She repeated. "Tell me something I don't know, Layton."

His lazy smile turned to a cocky one and he looked directly at Derek. "If I weren't trapped in these things," his gaze passed by the sling that was holding his left hand up and then looked back at Derek. "I'd punch him in the face. _And,_" his blue eyes turned to her. "You look cute in your scrubs, but I bet you already know that."

"I already know both, Layton, what I don't know is the reason why you got shot. And I think your doctor would want to know that too," she said.

"It's nothing to fuss about," Layton shrugged, looking away and facing the window.

"Layton…" Meredith got out of her place and worked closer to his bed. She placed her hand gently over his and squeezed it but he didn't look back at her.

"Dr. Grey? A minute?" Derek cleared his throat and looked at the two of them with evident anger and jealousy. Meredith gave Layton's hand a small squeeze before following Derek out of the room.

-

"You know him?" Derek asked as soon as they were out of earshot of other people.

"He's a friend," she replied calmly.

He knew there was something more. By the way they lightly bantered… There must be something more. "Is he the reason you're leaving me?"

"Don't you da-," she was about to shout at him but she caught herself and she just took a deep breathe and calmly looked at him. "We're done talking about everything, Derek."

"Last night…"

"Last night was the end of us, Derek," she cut him off.

"So that's it? Our marriage is over? Just like that?" he asked.

"What do you want more, Derek? Fireworks?" she scoffed. "You want me to tell the whole world that our marriage is over?"

"What I want is for our marriage to be not over, Mer," he told her quietly.

"It's over, Derek."

"I love you," he whispered, his eyes going to hers. "I'll never stop."

"Just like you never stopped loving Addison?" she cracked a bittersweet smile. It hurt him that she could still find a way to slap him in the face without doing it literally. He watched as she walked back into Layton's room, leaving him in the middle of the hall, not knowing what else to do.

-

"He's a good surgeon, Layton," she smiled at him. "You've got nothing to worry about."

"I believe you, Mer. But what if he intentionally kills me on the table and make it look like an accident?"

"He won't jeopardize his career just for a simple thing like that, trust me," she reassured him. "He won't jeopardize his career for anything."

"You can't say that, Mer," Layton looked away from her and out the window. "Everyone's got someone that would make them jeopardize their career for…"

"Well, I'm not that someone for him," she smiled tightly. As much as she wanted to even try to make her be that someone…

"Well…" he looked back at her with a small smile.

She smiled, more brightly now. "Don't even tell me I'm that someone for you, Layton. Don't you dare." She rolled her eyes lightly.

"What?" he smiled guiltily. He was just about to do so.

"You were going to say it, weren't you?"

"Guilty," he nodded. "So if I get out of here? Will you stay with me? Be my personal doctor?"

"If you tell me why you got shot, maybe I'll stay with you," she bargained.

"Maybe?" his eyes twinkled with a little mischief, his mischievous smile matching it. "What if I tell you and then you'll _most definitely _stay with me? What about that?"

"Fine," she gave out a small sigh. She really did want to know what happened to him. And besides, they were already living right across each other on the 23rd floor of the hotel.

"Remember that case that I was here for the first time I met you? Well, the family of the victim's not too happy that my client walked free. And they've been sending me death threats for a while now. They warned me never to step inside Seattle ever again," Layton frowned a little. "But you know no one could keep me away from here."

"And the men who did this to you?"

"Jail," Layton replied.

"Are you sure?" Meredith asked. She was afraid that they'd come back and finish the job. She didn't want anything to happen to Layton.

"Promise," he nodded, giving her a small reassuring smile.

"Good," she nodded, satisfied with his answer and his promise. She stood up from the chair she was occupying and without a second thought, leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Layton's lips. "I'm glad you're okay, Layton. I really am."

* * *

-

**I just want to let all of you know. It ain't over until the fat lady sings. And I ain't seeing any fat ladies around. You have to stick around until the curtain closes...**

**Cheerios!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary: A Meredith Grey story. To learn to live, you have to let go... To learn to let go, you have to have someone new to hold onto… R&R please. MerDer, Mer/Other.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and most certainly no one. I'm a borrower, Shonda Rhimes is the librarian.**

* * *

-  
Chapter 15  
_**And suddenly I become a part of your past**_  
-

Meredith pressed the buzzing alarm clock and she turned around to face Layton. She's been staying with him since he got home a few days ago. With her eyes still closed, she nudged him a bit to wake him up. "Layton, you need to get up. Your flight's in two hours. You need to be there at least an hour before." He mumbled something incoherently and he dug himself deeper into his pillow. "Layton." Meredith opened her eyes and shook him. "Layton. Wake up."

"It's still early," he mumbled. "And my arm hurts."

"You've been cleared off by your doctor, Layton. You're just making excuses," Meredith reminded him.

"Just a few more minutes," he yawned, furrowing deeper into the pillows, hiding his face from sight.

"Unless you do want to fly back to D.C. in your _silk _pajamas, then you could take a few minutes, other than that…" Meredith nudged him again. When he gave out a grunt, she rolled her eyes and didn't think about the next thing she said. "I swear, you're much harder to wake up than Derek."

His eyes went wide open at the mention of Derek's name. He gave her an indefinable look and he threw the covers off of him in an instant. "I'm up." He sat on the edge of the bed for a few seconds before letting out a sigh.

"I'm sorry."

"There's no need to be, Mer. I-I," he looked back at her a little with a hurt look on his face. "I need to go get dressed."

Minutes later, Layton was all dressed-up and ready to go. He picked up his suitcase and turned to Meredith who was still in bed.

"Hopefully I'll see you next month in D.C.?" he asked, fixing his tie.

"As soon as the Chief signs the papers," she nodded.

"Aren't you gonna give me a goodbye hug?" he grinned at her. She smiled and she got out of the bed and walked over to him. He hugged her tightly for a few seconds before letting her go and smiling down at her. "You'll call me right?"

"I will," she nodded with a smile. "I most certainly will."

"I'll call you when I land," he placed a kiss on her cheek and with one last wave, walked out of their hotel room.

-

Meredith got into her car, placing the keys in the ignition and driving away. She turned the radio on to escape the eerie silence that was enveloping her car. She turned the corner, glancing at the side mirror quickly to see if anyone was right behind her. She reverted her gaze to the front and looked up just in time to see the stop light turn red. She pressed on the brakes and panicked when the car didn't stop like it was supposed to. She pressed it down two more times before she heard a sickening crunching of metal, and then she didn't remember what happened next.

-

Christina didn't know what to do. She had been pacing in front of trauma room 1 for about 15 minutes now. Inside was her friend, fresh from a car accident. The police were hovering over George and Izzie in the outer hall. Christina did not want to deal with police at this time. All she wanted to deal with was the resident doctor and the attending that were tending to her friend inside trauma room 1.

"Christina!" George opened the door and called her. "You need to come out here."

"Can't you see I'm trying to pace here, George!?" Christina shouted at him.

"Trust me, you need to come out here!" George insisted in his annoying way.

"This better be important," Christina glared at George. She looked at the police officer who was looking at her. "What is it?"

"We did some further investigation, Dr. Yang, and we found out that your friend's brakes had been clipped."

"What? What? What do you mean clipped!?"

* * *

**Dun dun dun dun... **

**And NO. It's not Layton who ordered that or did _it_... Don't you even dare think about it!**

**-**

**I think I can see the fat lady coming... She's about to sing... lalalaaaaa... The curtains are near to closing... **

**Bye!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary: A Meredith Grey story. To learn to live, you have to let go... To learn to let go, you have to have someone new to hold onto… R&R please. MerDer, Mer/Other.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and most certainly no one. I'm a borrower, Shonda Rhimes is the librarian.**

* * *

-  
Chapter 16  
_**  
**_-

"YOU!"

Layton stood his ground, his eyes focused on the man who was charging at him with full force. He waited for Derek to push him against the wall. His head lightly hit the wall and he felt the urge to push the smaller man away but he knew he deserved to be slammed against the wall. If he hadn't flown back to D.C. and left Meredith here, this wouldn't have happened.

"You fucking stay away from her!" Derek spoke through his gritted teeth. His eyes were full of mixed rage and pain. Layton looked down at him, not uttering a word. He didn't know what else to say.

"You think I can't put two and two together?" Derek glared at him. "First you get shot and then my wife's brakes get clipped!? You fucking stay away from her!"

"Dr. Shepherd!" Izzie shouted out the other doctor's name.

Within a few seconds, Alex placed his hand against Derek's chest and pushed Derek away from him. He gave out a breath as he looked at the man whose ex-wife was barely breathing inside the small room. Barely breathing because of him.

-

Derek Shepherd watched as Alex pulled Layton from him. Derek didn't know what came over him, charging a man inches taller than him.

He was shaking and it was bad. At most times, he could control his self but this time was different. He wanted to lash out and punch the living lights out of the taller man who caused everything. He glared at the said man and his thoughts went back to what happened barely an hour ago.

--- --- ---

(flashback)

"Where is he?" he heard George's voice from outside. After a second, George entered the room and looked at him. "Dr. Shepherd?"

"Yes, Dr. O'Malley?"

"T-there's something going down in ER, they need you,"

"What's going down there?"

"The attendings are fighting over a patient, sir."

"A patient? My attendings?" he sighed, shaking his head in dismay as he stood up and followed George out of the room. He looked at George, noticing his state. "Dr. O'Malley, are you alright? You look…"

"I-it's… Nothing, sir," George shook his head. "It's nothing…"

They reached the ER after a few minutes and Derek could already see the sea of doctors gathering around a patient. He stepped closer to them and he cleared his throat to catch all of their attention.

"Dr. Shepherd," Dr. Skye, his head of neurosurgery, approached him. "You need me to take a look at her now, Dr. Shepherd. All the other attendings are just coming in here for show."

"Show?"

Derek pushed past him and his whole world came crashing down. "Oh god."

"Dr. Shepherd!" Bailey shouted at him as he approached Meredith's limp body. She was covered in blood and she was unconscious. And he felt like a ton of bricks fell on him.

"W-what?" he couldn't even form his words as he ran his hand across her head and hair.

"Car crash," Dr. Skye told him. "You're in no condition to take her case, sir. I'll do it."

"No," he shook his head. "I-I… S-she needs the best."

"The best won't do her any good if you're in that state, Dr. Shepherd. Now you need to step away from the bed and let your attendings to their job," Dr. Bailey dictates at him as she kept her eye on the monitor. The monitor that was telling the world that Meredith's heart was barely beating.

Derek shook his head. No, no. This wasn't happening. He was dreaming. Yes, he was definitely dreaming. But every last brain cell of his is taunting him and telling him that it was true. His Meredith was lying right in front of him, beaten and blue. It really was happening.

And there was nothing else he could do.

--- --- ---

* * *

**-**

**Sorry. Short short one. I honestly don't know where I'm going with this... **  



	17. Chapter 17

**Summary: A Meredith Grey story. To learn to live, you have to let go... To learn to let go, you have to have someone new to hold onto… R&R please. MerDer, Mer/Other.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and most certainly no one. I'm a borrower, Shonda Rhimes is the librarian.**

* * *

-  
Chapter 17  
_**  
**_-

Derek drowned his self in paper work for the two hours that the doctors worked on Meredith. He tried everything to get his mind off of her but everything else failed.

He tried to wait in the hallway, sitting on the cold tile, hoping that it'll help him numb the pain that was currently pulsating his whole body. He sat there for five whole minutes. Five whole minutes of thoughts running through his mind. Negative thoughts. And all he wanted to do was bang his head on the wall to stop himself from thinking.

He tried to wait in the waiting room with all the other patient's families. But the eerie silence wanted him to shout out in rage.

So he settled for doing his job. He didn't care that his hand was shaking so badly that his signatures looked liked they were forged. Badly. He didn't care that he probably approved a lot of requests that should not have been approved. And he didn't care that the papers he was holding had droplets of his tears all over.

"Dr. Shepherd?"

Derek rubbed his eyes, trying to wipe away any tears, before finally looking up.

"Dr. Stevens told me to come get you," the nurse spoke in a quiet voice.

"D-did she…" He stopped himself and shook his head. "No. Don't tell me."

The nurse meekly nodded and left him in his office.

After a few seconds, he stood up and walked to the OR rooms.

"Derek," Izzie Stevens approached him. He looked behind her and saw George leaning on the wall, staring at something. He turned to Izzie and saw her tear-stricken face.

"Just tell me, Izzie," he immediately spoke, not wanting to hear any dilly dally. "Did she make it?"

"Dude, where the fuck is Yang!? This is not the time to go missing!" Alex Karev stalked out of from nowhere and stood beside Izzie.

"What? No!" Izzie shook her head, looking at him and completely forgetting about Derek's question. "She left when Meredi…" she trailed off, her eyes going to Derek. "Did you try to call her?" Izzie rambled. "And page her?"

"She disappeared, Iz! She just fucking disappeared!" Alex spoke angrily. "And could someone go check up on Layton? He's like in shock or something. He's not moving, he's just staring at the wall. And the dude punched the wall and his hand's bleeding. He wouldn't let a nurse go look at it. I think he even fucking growled at one."

"Izzie, where the hell is Christina!?" George suddenly shouted from his place.

"Dr. Stevens! Tell me what happened!" Derek cut in.

"Stop! Just stop!" Izzie shouted at them all. "I don't know what to fucking do! So just shut up! I-I can't do this, okay!? I-I…" She suddenly looked at all three of them. "Oh god…"

"Izzie…"

"I-I… W-we need to…" Izzie breathed in and out, taking slow steps backwards away from them. "W-we need to contact the florist… And the funeral parlor… And call her family… Does she even have any family?"

Derek heard the word funeral and everything else went blank. He felt cold. Chilly. He stepped backwards and didn't stop until he felt he was far enough for everything to disappear. But it didn't.

"Fucking great," Alex muttered, looking at him. "IS there no one in their right mind!? We're supposed to be doctors! We're supposed to be good when we're faced with a crisis like this!" Alex glared at Izzie who was seated on the ground, muttering to herself, George who was leaning on the wall, shedding silent tears, and at Derek who was standing in the middle of the hallway, seemingly frozen. "Damnit! You guys are fucking pathetic."

"She's gone, Alex," George whispered. "She's gone…"

"No, no," Derek muttered. "This can't be. It's wrong. She's not gone. She's not."

He ran towards the OR room.

"Dude," Alex stopped him. "They already wheeled her downstairs. She's gone. She's gone."

"No," Derek shook his head. "No. No. NO!"

-

-

"Derek! Derek! DEREK!"

He opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was the roof of his trailer. His mind took time to register what was happening. How the hell did he get here?

"Derek? Are you alright?"

Derek's heart stopped beating as he heard a voice he thought he'd never hear ever again.

"M-meredith?" he stammered, looking to his side and seeing her looking at him with concern.

"Derek, did you have a bad dream?" she asked.

"I-it was all a dream, oh god, it was all a dream," he murmured as he ran his hands through his hair. He reached over and ran his hand against her cheek. "It was a dream. Everything was a dream."

"Would you like to talk about it?" she looked calm.

"No, no," he shook his head. He closed his eyes and shook his head. "It was all just a dream and that's all that matters."

"But it's not a dream at all, Der."

"What?" Derek opened his eyes and looked at her.

"I'll miss you, Derek," she softly said. "I'll miss you so much."

"Meredith? Meredith! No!" he can't reach her anymore. "No!"

-

-

"Dr. Shepherd? Dr. Shepherd!"

Someone nudged Derek. Hard. He was pulled from his dream or was it his dream in his dream. He rubbed his eyes, trying to wipe away any tears, before finally looking up.

"Dr. Stevens told me to come get you," the nurse spoke in a quiet voice.

"D-did she…" He stopped himself and shook his head. "No. Don't tell me."

The nurse meekly nodded and left him in his office.

After a few seconds, he stood up and walked to the OR rooms.

"Derek," Izzie Stevens approached him. He looked behind her and saw George leaning on the wall, staring at something. He turned to Izzie and saw her tear-stricken face.

"Just tell me, Izzie," he immediately spoke, not wanting to hear any dilly dally. "Did she make it?"

"Dude, where the fuck is Yang!? This is not the time to go missing!" Alex Karev stalked out of from nowhere and stood beside Izzie.

This was what exactly happened in his dream. He shook his head in denial.

"No, no," he muttered, stepping back. Away from everything. Away from them.

"Derek? Where are you going?" Izzie noticed him.

"I-I…" He continued on backing away.

"Derek!" Izzie called out. "Don't you want to see her?"

See her?

"She's in recovery right now," Izzie informed him.

"S-she's okay? S-she's alive?" Derek stammered as he stopped walking and looked at Izzie.

Izzie nodded but there was still no joy in his eyes. "She made it through, Derek.

She's alive. Derek's dream was not becoming reality. She's alive.

"But she's in a coma."

--- --- ---

* * *

**-**

**Blahblahblah.**  



	18. AN

**DISREGARD!**

**-Move on to the next chapter-**

**(Previously a note announcing going on hiatus)**

**Hiatus ran from August 3, 2007 to February 27, 2008**

**[That's one heck of a long hiatus.**

**LOL. **


	19. Chapter 18

**Summary: A Meredith Grey story. To learn to live, you have to let go... To learn to let go, you have to have someone new to hold onto… R&R please. MerDer, Mer/Other.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and most certainly no one. I'm a borrower, Shonda Rhimes is the librarian.**

* * *

-  
Chapter 18  
_**  
**_-

She was lying on the bed. She looked like she was just sleeping except for the missing soft snores. Derek moved from his spot leaning on the door frame and finally entered her room. He was careful in making his way towards her though a part of him wanted to make all the noise in the world in hopes of her waking up.

He approached her bed and stood right next to her, looking down at her sleeping form.

"Meredith," he called out, reaching out and running his hands across her hair. "Meredith, if you could hear me… Just… Just… Wake up, okay? I don't know what to do anymore. You can't leave me like this."

He finally sat down and let the beeping of the machines be the only thing to envelope the room.

"I don't know what to talk to you about. Usually you're the one's who's rambling… And I don't want to talk about what's happened to us, Mer. Cos' for me there's nothing that happened between us… Just for now, for this moment… We're still us. Just for now, Mer… We're still us…"

He let out a deep breath and thought of something to talk about. Something to divert his sad thoughts to something happier.

"Do you remember that day when a rabbit managed to get inside our trailer?" he smiled at the memory. "I was driving up to the trailer and you suddenly called me. I answered the phone and you screamed and screamed that there was a rabbit inside the trailer and that it crawled over your foot and it was trying to eat your toes. You told me to hurry on home not knowing that I was right there in the driveway and I can see you through the trailer window, jumping up on the kitchen booth.

Do you remember how angry you were at me when I just laughed at you through the phone? And then you just hung up. I hung up too and I headed inside. You ran towards me and started to point at the dead rabbit on the floor. You said you killed the rabbit. You said you killed the rabbit with your screaming," he chuckled lightly, remembering her frantic face when she told him as he entered the trailer that she killed the rabbit with her high octave voice.

"Your high octave voice… I laughed at your silliness, we all know you can't kill anyone with a high octave voice. Remember how that night, when we were in bed, you wondered if the rabbit had a family waiting for it to come home… You felt guilty killing it, thinking of its family… I don't want to be that rabbit's family, Mer… So, please, wake up…"

"I didn't kill that rabbit," she suddenly spoke in a soft voice, breaking the silence.

"Mer?" Derek scrambled off of his chair almost knocking it down in the process. "Meredith?"

"The rabbit was bitten by something, I think it just went to the trailer to die," she continued on speaking.

"Mer, you're awake," he sputtered as he ran his hands through her hair, making sure she really was awake.

"What happened?" she slowly opened her eyes.

"You got into a car accident. But that doesn't matter now," he shook his head, smiling down at her. "You're okay. You're awake."

"My head hurts," she muttered, frowning a little.

"I-I'll go get a doctor," he muttered absentmindedly.

"Der, you're a doctor," she reminded him.

"Right now I can't even think," he shook his head as he reached over and pressed the nurse's button. He wanted to swoop down and kiss her senseless but he stopped himself from doing so. They weren't together and he knew even being in her room was too much for him to be doing already but he didn't care. He didn't care at all.

-

"So it's true, you're awake," Cristina entered her small hospital room and immediately sat down on the lower part of her bed.

"Yeah," she tore her gaze from the window and looked at her friend.

"Do you have any idea how fucking worried I was?"

"You could at least give me a hug," Meredith gave her friend a small smirk, knowing what her response would be.

"You know I don't do hugs," Cristina rolled her eyes. "But just know that I'm glad you're alright."

"Fine."

"By the way, your lover boy's gone loco," Cristina informed her.

"What? Layton?"

"The dude actually punched a wall. Concrete. Head on."

"He's here?"

"He flew right back when he found out."

"Oh."

"Oh? That's all you can say?"

"I can't exactly form any coherent thought right now, Cristina," she leaned back further into her pillows. Her head was killing her but the thoughts that have been running through it did more damage. When she woke up earlier that day, she was happy that Derek was the first person she saw. The look in his eyes made her happy that in some way, she knew he still cared for her.

"Well, I just want to tell you that I regret ever setting you up with that lawyer," Cristina broke her thoughts.

"What? Why?" she asked her friend.

"He was the reason for this, you know, his enemies or whatever."

"It's not his fault, Cristina," Meredith shook her head and sighed. It really wasn't Layton's fault.

"I still regret it," Cristina forcefully stated.

"I regret everything, Cristina," she whispered, looking back outside the window. The rain was trickling softly on the window, just like the day she decided to leave Derek. "I regret everything."

"You had an epiphany or something while you were in the coma?" Cristina asked.

"Kinda like that," she replied softly as she nodded. "I just realized some things."

"Good things?"

She looked back at Cristina and in a soft, barely audible voice she spoke her heart out.

"I love him, Cristina."

--- --- ---

* * *

**-**

**Who does she love? I have no idea. Who do you think?**

**Sorry for going MIA in this fic. Probably one more chapter and an epilogue for this... By the way, I'm thinking of making a story with Layton in it again (cos' I love him to death) BUT it's purely him and Meredith. Anyone interested:D **


	20. Chapter 19

**Summary: A Meredith Grey story. To learn to live, you have to let go... To learn to let go, you have to have someone new to hold onto… R&R please. MerDer, Mer/Other.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and most certainly no one. I'm a borrower, Shonda Rhimes is the librarian.**

* * *

-  
Chapter 19  
_**Will you won't you, be the one I'll always know**_  
-

Meredith stared out the window of the small hospital room. They said she was in a coma and she knew it without them having to tell them. She was dreaming, it was a very long dream. In the dream, she realized a lot of things. A lot of things. Her thoughts were disrupted by a brief knock on the door. She tore her gaze from the window and looked at her visitor.

"Layton," she greeted him as he entered the room, carrying a bouquet of flowers.

"Hey, I heard you were awake," he placed the flowers on the bedside table, smiling down at her with his perfect smile.

"You know I'm not a fan of flowers," she gently kidded.

"I didn't know what else to get," he shrugged, placing his hands, one of them bandaged, inside his pockets. "I'm not a doctor so I don't really know what you can't or can eat."

"Chocolates will be a good thing," she lightly suggested. A moment of silence enveloped the room.

"Tell me something I don't know, Meredith," Layton broke the silence.

Meredith didn't know what to say but she knew that he knew what she was going to say and it pained her. She put on a wry smile. "How about you tell me something, Layton."

"I have a feeling I'm about to go back to DC with a broken heart," Layton let out a small smile.

She didn't know what else to do but look at him.

"I'll let go of you if you tell me you know he really is the one, Mer," Layton gently told her.

Meredith let out a small sigh. "He broke my heart... But..."

"But he is, right? He'll always be the one."

"Yeah," Meredith nodded, forcing herself not to cry. She didn't want to break Layton's heart. "I'm really sorry."

"Just take care, Mer," Layton said, placing on a brave smile. He leaned down and placed a lingering kiss on her forehead. "Don't let yourself get hurt."

"I won't."

"If you need anything, call me," he told her as he stepped backwards towards the door. "And don't worry about those men who did this, I'll have them taken care of. I'll miss you, Mer."

Meredith closed her eyes to stop her tears from falling. "I'll miss you, t-"

She didn't get to finish her sentence because by the time she opened her eyes, he was already out the room. She stared at the spot she last saw him and she didn't realize how much time passed by.

"What the heck's wrong with you?" Cristina entered her room.

"Cristina..."

"What?"

"Can you call Derek?" she asked softly. She knew Cristina was going to call her out on what she was about to do.

"McBastard?"

"Please?" she begged.

Cristina kept the scowl she had on her face but gave in. "Fine, fine, I'll go get him. But I swear, Meredith, if he makes you cry..."

"Cristina, please," she cut her friend off. With a nod, Cristina finally left the room in search of Derek.

-

Derek has stood outside Meredith's room for a few seconds now, still trying to drown out the threats he just got from Cristina. When he finally got the courage, he entered the room as quietly as he could. He found Meredith looking out the window, something he's seen her doing for the few times he passed by her room just to get a glimpse of her.

"I was dreaming," she whispered, without turning to look at him.

"That was a long dream," he sighed softly as he walked towards her bed and stood beside it.

"I was dreaming about you."

He kept quiet, willing her to go on.

"It was the same at it was in my dream. You neglected me to be with Addison..."

"Mer..."

"I'm scared... I'm scared that you'll break me again. Scared that you'll break my heart to the point that I can never get over it..." her breath hitched from the tears in her eyes that he saw when she finally turned to look at him. "But I love you, Derek, god, I love you,"

"I love you, too, Mer..."

"And I want to make it work... I want to give it one more shot... Even if I know I'm a fool too... But I'll be a happy fool..."

She was giving him a second chance. For some reason, she was giving him a second chance to make it with her. His mind was spinning and his heart was swelling and he didn't know what else to do. He leaned over and kissed her as gently as he could. He closed his eyes and lingered in the happiness that he was feeling at the moment.

"Please don't break my heart again," she whispered as he pulled back a little, keeping his forehead against hers. Her eyes bore into his and he knew that this was his last chance and he swore to himself that he'd never break her heart ever again.

"Never, Mer, never, I promise,"

-

--- --- ---

* * *

**-**

**I honestly planned on having Meredith end up with Layton on this fic but I didn't know what to do with Derek. LOL. So there you go... FIN (except for the epilogue on the works.). R&R. :)  
**


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